One Guy and loads of pee

Now yet for another thing happening this morning. It's not about ladies anymore, it's about men, or boys who like to think of themselves as men. It happened during break time. I needed a loo-break desperately. And as I trotted off to the loo I see a man go in. Shit (not as in real shit), I would have to wait, my bladder already at bursting limit. So I waited and noticed that this man had got into the ladies. Perhaps by mistake. I also realised where I knew this man, it took me down the ugly part of memory lane, I remembered this nerd who had just one girlfriend in his life (and it was because he got very lucky), and I don't think he'd changed at all... for one he was in the ladies and not in the gents room. Anyway I waited and remembered. He finally made an exit, and just as he saw me making a move to go in, turned round, walked straight back in, and flushed the loo. Then he made this cheesy excuse that he was about to forget! About to forget in my terms of the language means remembering just in time. This one didn't have a case of amnesia, he was just plain lazy and since it was obvious that I was going in, it was also obvious that he was about to be caught out as regards his filthy habits. On no, I wasn't buying it, the guy had just not flushed because that is what he probably always did. Perhaps to save on Enemalta bills. Disgusting, filthy man. And he hadn't even washed his hands, had he done so I'd have heard him. Because people wash their hands at least with water, water can be heard, and the sink was clear. Shit again. I summed it all up in a snap, was I to use the same loo as this filthy man who hadn't even washed his hands but had touched the door knob? That meant that he'd not just not flushed his pee away but he'd also touched his thingy together with the pee and then touched the door knob with his fingers which had also touched his thingy and the pee. Talk about the Princess and the Pea, this one qualified for the Guy and the Pee. One step further, he also qualified for a degree in the Guy with the Pee all over the place. There was absolutely no way I was using the loo, and the floor! Oh God, it was pee-riddled. So bladder bursting or not, I had to walk away in disgust and anger. Because a full bladder makes you feel somewhat irritated, but as it was I would have rather taken to doing it doggy style (no, I'm not hinting at the something else) and squat behind a tree somewhere. But I couldn't really pull that one off in broad daylight, so I just had to use the little peoples' loo, which was perfectly flushed and clean. When are men going to learn? With all our eyelash batting, we still manage to pee down the inside of the loo and not down the outside. Are most men myopic? And how do they manage it even without toilet paper? Do they fling it dry in a North, South, East, Westernly manner as in cowboy behaviour, or do they just place it under the automatic dryer? Or do they, God forbid, just put the pee and all into their underwear? And this in turn raises another uncomfortable question, who is it who is washing all those skid marks away? Or do men just dispose of their underwear every day? And what about the men who think underwear should go a long way? Because seeing this nerd didn't flush the loo, if he were trying to save water, then wouldn't he try to make things last as in desperately trying not to use the washing machine? And how does my man, who is slightly myopic always manage to do it all decently? He's not just good, he's very clean. And any guy, no matter how ugly will always pull himself off as long as he's clean. I think there's just one way to do it, confiscate loo keys for a week and let men find their own way to flush their bladder. I'm not so sure they'd be very happy to bare their thingy out to the cold weather and splash all over a tree. Poor tree. But they've got to learn.