Facial Hair

I've woken up so early. It's been months since I've seen this time of day, and now I wish I hadn't. I don't like this weather, it's as if the Gods are just merry-go-rounding in Splash and Fun while knowing very well that it's not my type of fine. I am no sun worshipper, but this? and oh yes I know how great grey, rainy weather is for staying in bed with loads of hot chocolate, but how much chocolate am I going to drink without getting sick? And sure I know what bad weather could be good for, a something else in bed. The trouble is that it's a week-day and men work, and right now they seem to prefer tables in stainless steel. Not my idea of fun, especially when I am nursing my poor back. And that sounds terrible, housewifey, because I work to, and so do plenty of women. The only difference will be that I will constantly be dodging the rain because of my hair. Men are lucky in that respect, well at least a lot of them are. Some even give their moustache a blow-dry, a practice which could easily be adopted by some women too. Well, ok that's catty, but since they want to strut around with a Godzilla kind of upper lip, then why not make a feature out of it and take it to a top hairstylist. The possibilities are endless, you could get a curly shocking upper lip, you could even crimp it for a retro eighties look. I still don't think it would be pretty, but if that gives a little bit of style, and the waxing pot is just not on, then why not? It's just like home-improving and designing, they pile on so many different colours and textures and make a feature out of a bad point stand out high and mighty. I know not how they do it, but somehow it works. All this would at the very least give me an excuse to stare, I don't know what it is with me and other people's facial hair. True it's wicked, I have been blessed in the hairless department, but somehow I start scanning a face and my eyes rest on the damn facial (which can go down to the neck) hair. I try not to look, but I just can't. I try to look elsewhere, but I still cannot help it. I must be something like the waxing parlour's dream. I even like waxing hairless skin, I think I like that best because it doesn't even hurt, not even that little bit. Oh and the eyebrows! I went as far as waxing them off entirely in my teenage years, and I thought it was such a good idea... until the next morning when I thought that the person looking back at me from the mirror resembled a reptile. And no, I'm not fond of reptiles. And I still waxed them all off in my twenties, thinking that I was then grown up and they would suit me better. They didn't. But I still suffer the consequences from all the heavy eyebrow waxing in my mid-thirties. I don't have much left, although one would never think so. Thanks to them I have had to become an artist in my own right. Facial hair, I'm not too fond of it, no, even if it happens to be a man. Why cover a face in hair, what are they hiding? Ok just a little bit, but no to overgrown. They must be hiding something. And I wonder why I never thought about it before.