Rain

Now today's just what I call one dreary day. Rain, rain, rain, please do go away, or else just rain a little bit and quit, go on holiday, go to the London sales, plenty to do there right now. But just don't come ruining my day over here. Poor Nigel takes so much pains to give me spaghetti-straight hair which is ruined by Ms. Rain. Yes rain must be a woman because rain is a terrible spoilsport. Rain is the kind of woman whom I could really drag by the hair. Because she acts in the same terrible way as do spoilt shallow women who know how to kill with one look. Just as you are feeling pretty good because you have a bang new hairstyle, rain is the kind of woman who will look at my hips instead of my face, and pull a nasty grin which could make me react in such a manner that I'd get arrested, although I do not react, and not for fear of getting arrested. Handcuffs can be very sexy. But I think people know by now not to behave in such a manner in my face, because they will not be let off with an easy warning. What women do and say behind my back is totally not my business, that is why I have a big frame, to have space to put it all behind me. And rain is one of these women. One of those women who have nothing to do all day but to look good, rain was also probably born in Sliema and cannot speak decent English or Maltese to save her life. It's a cocktail, and a bad one. Rain is so haughty, it looks down on us Cottonera-born-and-bred people, but we can speak decent English, Maltese and some other languages too. She is one of those women without taste who do not how to accessorize, so instead take to wearing all they have at one go. Oh and Ms. Rain is a slut too. I once (two times actually) went out with a rain-man, seeing that since he was from Sliema then he must have at least slept with Ms. Rain a couple of times. And really, I am thankful it was just twice. It was all so bland. Just as if someone had thrown icy rain at me... but then I guess he hadn't yet got over his relationship with Ms. Rain and I wasn't about to do a save-the-world deed over there. There is just one girl who I can take, who perhaps talks a bit like Ms. Rain, but whose talking I find cute and terribly funny in an intelligent way. Yes, Rob, you know it's you. And I'll forgive you for your accent, because I know you cannot help it, and you make me laugh. And now I know you're also for real. So you needn't go away like Ms. Rain, on the contrary, please stay.