Fritzl

I may be watching too much news. And since I have to blame it on someone, then it's my dad's fault. He has always liked watching news. And so have I. Perhaps it is because we are very curious creatures who always want to know what is going on with other people. And since we think that eavesdropping is bad, then we turn to newspapers, radio, Internet and television because it kind of satisfies our curious needs in not a bad way. And I am reminded of Josef Fritzl. Bad bad man. And his excuse? He was bullied by his mother who forbid him to make friends. Yeah right. How does that explain him turning into a cruel monster who not only forbade his daughter to make friends but turned her into a slave. And I try to think how this daughter never resisted him. But then I am thinking in my kind of terms. I cannot even start to think of a dad like him, and I am not a broken woman like Elisabeth either. My dad would never ever think of raping me. Oh dear Lord, my dad is such a different man. Now I like to think that I have my perspectives wide open, I know that sometimes slavery is carried out through choice. There are plenty of women who want to be a Master's slaves. And that is fine by me as long as it's consensual. BDSM is fine. We have all practised some of it to a degree, even if it is a little degree such as in role play. But that is play. Not life day in day out, 24/7. Perhaps incest is also fine if it is consensual. It's not my cup of tea, but it happens and perhaps sometimes brothers and sisters and cousins... well, they're kind of the same age, they want it, so they can have it. But a dad behaving like a monster as regards his daughter? Again, perhaps I see it so wrong because I think with my kind of thinking; comparing it to the relationship there is between my dad and I. My dad dragging me into a cell and keeping me there for his pleasure for so many years. No, it would never happen to me. As it happened, my dad kept me overground, for his pleasure which meant making sure I got a good education, living a healthy normal life with other people around me. And that was his pleasure. Not raping. My dad couldn't even rape an insect. And no, it's not because he changes into a big bad wolf which I have no knowledge of. And suddenly my big eternal issue is nothing in comparison to poor Elisabeth's issue. I have been blessed by such a nice dad. And Elisabeth got the monster dad. When I was a broken woman, it made my dad cry. And he tried everything in the book to help me smile. And it was never his fault. Elisabeth's dad turned his own daughter into a broken woman. And now he holds and A4 folder against his face because he's ashamed. And about flipping time he did. My guess is that the world will not be saddened when Josef Fritzl goes to hell. Thank God he's not my dad. Because I have only God to thank for giving me a dad I can proudly call my own. He's the best.

Jade again

I can rest. And I have rested and how. All that digital mastering has taken its toll. I don't know why any type of music just takes itself to the middle of the night. Opera, ballet, operetta, grand scale concerts...as well as digital mastering. But it's done now. And I've paid the price of feeling exhausted. But it's well worth it. Now I should relax, the problem is I just cannot relax. I keep typing Jade Goody on every search engine available on the Internet. They all say the same thing, but I keep looking for a miracle. Of course I have never met Jade. And I never ever wanted to. Not now. I think she could use a miracle. Cervical cancer; something I never even knew existed. Can anybody die of cervical cancer? The answer is yes. I am sure that if there were something Jade could have done to get better she would have done it. Strange thing this cancer, it strikes when it likes. It doesn't say, oh I cannot strike a Big Brother celeb, it just does. And it probably also strikes the homeless people living under cardboard boxes in Trafalgar Square. Only they do not get as much publicity. But striking a 27 year old mum, it makes no sense. Her two sons will only have a little memory of their mum. And that's not fair. Right now I am consumed with this Jade Goody stuff. I don't know why. I just am.