The Marriage Change

I keep logging onto Face Book and getting surprises. Some ex-friends (ex because I don't see them anymore), have suddenly got married and turned into saints. They are the same friends who were quite cocky (pun intended). One such friend once was almost responsible for my choking to death from laughter. We were in church, not through any saintly beliefs, but because my then friend was a singer who had been booked to sing at a wedding. And just as the priest was handling the host (I do not know the exact name for the behaviour), she decided to tell me all about her love for organs... and she wasn't referring to the one I was playing on. It was all about male organs. And the church was dead silent, save for me coughing all my lungs up thanks to her. Yet another friend was a sex pro. A real pro. It was her who taught me all about the joys of sex, and everything that comes along with it. Yet another was a sexually deviant friend who would try anything at least once, then like it and try it again. Next to them I was a saint. Now, the tables seem to have turned. They have got married and turned into virgins again. And there was I thinking that a part of marriage consisted in actually having blessed sex and getting de-virgined. Now, I'm not so sure. They talk about God and Jesus all the time. Which isn't a bad thing. But they're pushing it way too far. The friend who loved male organs is now posting...''Strive for Virtue--- Resolve never to give up praying and striving for virtue, no matter how many times you fall''. My guess is that she's falling all the time and has struck a deal with Elastoplast. Another friend who has always liked black men for obvious reasons, is saying...''Even if you are in the darkest (dark probably meaning black) hour and you think there is no way out, reach for God's hand who is always there to lift you up.'' I only hope God is either a very very strong being, or that heaven has a white crane complete with white pearls, as lifting this friend up is worse than anybody trying to lift me up. Yet another friend who used to live the life of a female sailor says...''Spiritual Fruit... The fruits are the last things to appear on a tree, so it will take you time to develop these as you grow in the spiritual life.'' I really don't know what to make of it, now she's talking about fruit and trees, has she married a farmer or does she have an orchard in her matrimonial home? Yet another friend is now a Mrs and says...''Every day through Face Book I am going to start a more powerful journey to bless others.'' For God's sake she is a Mrs. not the Pope. Where have my friends all gone? Why has marriage turned and twisted them into saintly devout boring people? And there was I thinking that sex was actually something of a duty in marriage. But they don't talk about it anymore. But they have kids so they must be doing it. Do they have a special room as one child once told me? A special room, according to the child, which belongs to mummy and daddy and is home to the Holy Ghost. What Ghost? Has marriage now become a threesome or what? It's a probably very well endowed ghost to have earned all this special treatment too.