A Perfect Tree?

I solemnly declare that I am about to finally decorate the Christmas Tree with all the baubles, angels, and sparkly things that go with it. The lighting has been done by my other half, seems it's a man's job and I don't miss it anyway. But now it's my turn to complete the bargain. And at times like this I remember one special tree decorated to perfection. A perfect tree standing on a perfectly creased sparkling white tablecloth sitting in perfect prominence to its surroundings. Total effortless perfection. I would like to be able to do that, and I'll try, but my creases will not be as perfect. Nor will my tinsel head north and south, west and east in such perfect glory. But I'll try, at least the picture sticks in my mind perfectly and when I'll be toothless in and old people's home, then I can mentally look back on the perfect trees and smile to myself. I will smile, not laugh, a knowing smile of someone who's been there, done that. And if it so happens that the old people's home I am in dawns with a sparkling perfect tree, then I know that I have a friend in the complex. Right now, we're rather far away from being called old people. But I will never ever forget my astonishment. Because this perfection comes from a man, for one, and usually perfectionists are so hard to please. But then comes Mrs. Life and throws in one or two of these people for good measure. It is of course beautiful to work with someone who will bend over backwards even when it comes to timetabling, because that will be perfect. Perfectionists also usually have no time for little people, but this one does with a vengeance. People who work perfectly in every way will not necessarily be very popular, sometimes because we see what is lacking in our own selves. I see that, but it doesn't make him less popular. You have two options, either to be glad, or not to be glad. I choose the gladness, all the perfect gladness. We meet so many people in the thing I call Mrs. Life. But so very few stick to us for some reason or other. Sometimes it's for the worse. But when you have met a sheer perfectionist, all genius, with a mind and heart to match then I can only say, thank you Mrs. Life. Some people will accept it as a threat. I don't. I gladly, perfectly accept it and hope that we are still very far away from old people's homes.

Little lights

I never understood the twist of events which have led me to do what I actually do. I cannot call it work, because work should sort of seem like a mundane, boring thing which you have to do to earn a living. But I have secretly asked the many WHY's. Not so many HOW's. And less WHAT IF's. Sometimes maybe God plays a part. Ok so there I go, always having to let God into the good parts. But what can i do? Nobody foresees the future like God. The unbelievable twist of events made me suffer at first, so if you are one of those people who actually decided to make it happen then there you go. But somehow I know possess something which is so fulfilling. So there you go again. Ok so I still have to drag myself sometimes because 8.30am is such an odd time to start. But that's about the only con there is. And of course I can work on that. From the brilliant lighting and encores.... to something even more brilliant and plenty of encores. The only thing which is different now is the age of the audience. And I really prefer it this way. I do not care if I have to help out in whatever it is. I do not say it's not my job. That's all in the past. I need not safely stay withing my regulations, because I always am, seeing that the regulations are so sensible.

But it wasn't always like this. How the hell did I miss even considering this career in the first place? Just because of the bright lights? I still have bright lights, firstly because I can always open a window, secondly because I think, or maybe like to think, that enthusiasm makes the little lights shine. And I like little lights. Somehow, somewhere along the line of choosing what to do I missed the little lights. So after 15+ years of stage lights, I am always with the little lights now. And it's good, because it feels good. I asked so many why's. I'm so done with that. I do not care why, I'm just thankful that life turned out this way. Little lights shine like stars, and yes, sometimes they decide they're going to have a short fuse too, but they are still lights at the end of the day.

So, when all is said and done, I am so thankful for the twist of life which has brought me so much happiness and fulfillment. I know it was not meant to be that way, but you see, you never know, but God does.