Life and dynamics

The dynamics of life are changing, babies do that. But it's not just births which change the dynamics, death does that too. The people that looked so old and mature when I was maybe 18 are suddenly dying. My last living grandma is 83, she is not sick in any way, she is probably fitter than me but she has just given up. She does not say so but it looks like life has tired her out. Well at 83 maybe that's not something out of this world. Lots of people have lived much less than that. But I remember her so vividly, so strong physically, emotionally, and mostly mentally. She is a grandma that has survived time and time again against all odds. I know a grandma who fought her way above depression. Anybody who had to go through what she did would probably descend deeply in depression. Not she. My role model in life has not been my mum, my grandma surpassed everyone, I like the fact that she is also my godmother. I made her a grandma, she was only 47 so I recollect a very up and about grandma.

But now just two days ago a dear old man has died, he was my dad's age, a perfect gentleman, I really liked the man, a good man, healthy and all that and the next thing he's gone. And I think of his daughter (my age) and his son, a little younger and think what it's like to be orphaned. Because there never is a specific age to be an orphan.

It's so sad, but then we're passing on to another life. Which makes me confused, should I love a lot and then get hurt when the object of love does their adiuex or should I keep my distance?