The Snip

Still sick and queasy but managed to drag myself in to work thanks to an overdose of Buscopan and Motilium. You've got to love these drugs, they at least turn you into a human being again for some time when otherwise you'd be just a sleeping mummy, still desperately trying to fight the onion poisoning. I am thinking of getting a new t-shit with an "I HATE ONION AND GARLIC" all over it. I have checked with my doctor, it can take up to three days to get the hateful stuff cleared out of my system. Splendid isn't it? But then, I guess I am really royalty, my body does not accept just anything. Onions are supposed to make people cry aren't they? Then I hope they cry cry cry. It's a stupid man or woman who eats something which makes them cry. Take Cadbury, it doesn't make people cry. A much better choice. And I have done my own research about the garlic. It actually is part of the lilly family. I love, sorry loved, lillies, not anymore. And never again will I take any shit about this allergy of mine, not even if it is a joke. It's ruined three days of my life, but oh well I'll get my revenge which will be served as cold as ice. As soon as I detox myself of the stuff. But on to better stuff. Or worse. I've just read that some woman in Britain ravaged her boyfriend. And by ravaged it seems she took it very seriously, animal style. She asked for a kiss then bit her boyfriend's tongue off and spat it out. Geeze, talk about s and M. This is blood and gore. I wonder what it feels like to see your tongue on the floor. Does it perform like a tailless gecko? Would it still spin around and wriggle? While I can understand the Lorena performance, I cannot even begin to understand this. Snipping off a penis is one thing, but biting off someone else's tongue? And then, at the same time, others might think that penis-snipping is worse than tongue biting. I don't agree. Both are gory. But the tongue one is the more gory. Poor guy, he won't be kissing anybody anytime soon. I wonder if he'll ever talk right again. My guess is he will be overwhelmed by a fear of Philemaphobia which will lead to Erotophobia, Genophobia and Heterophobia. Poor poor guy, that is enough to secure him years on the couch, probably till the day he dies. And no more fellatio for him till the day he dies. Poor poor poor old man. That's too hard on any living man. I send him my prayers.