Still lacking energy, but need therapy, blog therapy. I'm sad, sad enough to cry, but I can't cry. The World Wide Web says sadness is when you get the feeling of your gut being torn out, and yes that is how it feels. It feels like you don't want to do anything else, like this thing is going to cloud the rest of your life. I've been there, and I know I never wanted to be there again. A lot of sadness going round, one of my best friends loses her dad, that's sad too. I feel so lost, like the chimp whose mother died when it was age 3, who rocked himself to sleep every night after that.
Sadness is so silent, so invisible, so untangible. I remember thinking how nice it was when I was 6, I thought sleeping was a waste of time. Now I think sleeping is necessary, it is the one place where you can dream of another world, perhaps for six hours, but six hours of happiness nonetheless.
So I'm here, not knowing what to do anymore. I am just going to throw all this sadness to a Higher Power. He should know what to do. So many memories, it feels like I'm going to be sick. But I cannot, I have to be silent, invisible, no more tears. They have to stay inside.
Sadness is so silent, so invisible, so untangible. I remember thinking how nice it was when I was 6, I thought sleeping was a waste of time. Now I think sleeping is necessary, it is the one place where you can dream of another world, perhaps for six hours, but six hours of happiness nonetheless.
So I'm here, not knowing what to do anymore. I am just going to throw all this sadness to a Higher Power. He should know what to do. So many memories, it feels like I'm going to be sick. But I cannot, I have to be silent, invisible, no more tears. They have to stay inside.
