Perfect Patience

So I'm shelving this bad feeling for a moment. Because I have forced to remember when was the last time I had the good feeling. And that was yesterday morning. From time to time, I keep writing about this perfect man, who might not be perfect himself, but strives to be perfect in his ways. And he never fails to make me smile, that feel-good allover smile. Because I have found yet another plus in this man, he has patience perfected to the whole alphabet. All through my working years, I have met many a man and woman whom I would like to forget about. Not this man. I hope I will work in his presence for many years to come. It's strange how sometimes life throws in someone who makes up for all the others. So I shouldn't feel bad at all, but think of him. And again, I have a smile. Why? Because he makes me smile with his perfect ways, and now, his perfect patience. There hasn't been one time when I have been disappointed. How does he do it? Probably through perfect brains and a perfect heart? I wish him so well, it is a feeling which for once leaves me quite speechless. He is my mentor, and wait for it, he is younger than me! I wish so many people were more like him. He really doesn't think that big means being able to do away with respect. And this is where God comes in. Me, embarking on an entirely new career, so frightened. No problem. Bang comes this guy who settles everything for me. That is God. Because sometimes, God is not just found in poor people in India, but also in successful people in Malta. And to this man, I wish all the happiness in the world.

TLC

It's at times like these when all I can think of is TLC. TLC for myself, my own kind. It doesn't come cheap. It usually comes in the shape on a lot of shoes (that's what I've been doing these past couple of days), tops, bottoms (not necessarily in that order). Basically I need to own things to give myself my TLC. Which some people might not understand, whereas my kind of people would understand to a T. Can a big girl like me feel so fragile? Oh dear, yes she can. Can she feel as if the world dumped and spat on her? Yes, another yes. So what do I do? I try and look at my cats who think I'm the best mummy on earth, they really do, such gorgeous creatures who (no, not which) know how to give their own kind of TLC. They purr loudly by my side and try to stick their face into mine, which in turn makes me cry. I look at my dogs, who (again the who) also seem to think I'm their greatest mummy, and my dogs understand the biggish issue seeing they are almost as big as I am. Yes it's very true, they're enormous dogs who would frighten anyone but who are just big teddy bears. So what's the matter with humans? Why does the closest man in the world to me think that I'm obnoxious, deviant, sad, silly, too big, pitiful, and not worth his time? Shit this hurts, it hurts even worse seeing the lengths I have gone to protect his VIP privacy from going all over the web. And if my Mister thinks the same as my pets, then does that make him an animal, a pet perhaps? Because if that's the case, I'm just becoming loonier and stocking up on even more cats. I'm just leaving the door ajar just in case any animal wants to come in. Sorry, no human beings.

Pity, respect and dignity

I haven't been blogging for the past couple of days. I thought it was because I was busy. But I am never ever busy to write. So it's not because I was just busy, but just plain old sad. Sure, plenty of things are sad in the world and perhaps I should lift myself up and see the world as it is. Yet, it's been too difficult. How can one sentence ruin a person for three days? Alas it can. I'm still thinking, pity and respect, and now I'm also thinking dignity. I'm also thinking sanity, my sanity. If three people see one thing as good and I see that same thing as bad, then who is right? It sounds just like a story sum, except that it is a story sum taken from the book of life. Is it to do with perceptions, but then how can three people think it's so awesome when I think it's the lowest, the basest of things to do? I have no idea. And the same thing has thrown me twenty million miles back on my journey of life. When I am 80 (because of course I will live to see the day when I will get all diapered up), I will look back and think oh God what a waste of time. But right now, it's no waste of time. I don't want pity, commiseration, I don't want people to kneel at the sight of me either, but just leaving me to my own dignity would help. I thought that once the storm was over, people would see their faults as I see mine. It's just not happened this way this time. And it's sad.