Mattress Stuff

I've been shopping. Not the lovely kind of shopping which leaves you in dire need of a chiropractor. Rather, I've been shopping for something which will make a chiropractor go away. And it's not even in those lovely stores which take Mastercard or Visa, or Diners. You really learn something new everyday. I didn't know that some stores sold just one thing... mattresses. I didn't even know there was such a wide choice of mattresses either. So as I looked at loads of them piled up neatly against each other, I think the shop assistant took pity on me and decided to help me out by showing me a catalogue. Which was even more confusing. The only thing I knew was that based on my scientific knowledge I had to have something called orthopaedic... desperately. There is no way I can get away with a semi. It's always like this in my life, no halves, just fulls. And one word stuck out.... Queen. So that what I was having, a queen something, a queen anything, but still a queen. So at least I can fill the duty of a queen while sleeping. I was also asked a very silly question, or so I thought. It was a 'why-do-you-want-a-mattress?' kind of question. To which I stared. Why would I waste time even visiting an ugly shop like that? To find something to sleep comfortably on, of course. Hours later, when I relay it to the Mister, he smiles. Just as the shop-assistant did. What's there to smile about mattresses? I could find plenty to smile about Chanel, but they don't do mattresses. So my Mister gently explains, and oh ok now I've got it. And it's such a silly reason for buying a top of the range mattress. I actually bought the most expensive one in the shop. And would I really be taking my sexual business to a bland shop like that? Huh. But then, so did the delivery men, they also smiled. That nerve-racking-silly smile you just want to wipe away with a slap. They asked where I wanted the flipping mattress to be placed, and I said 'on the bed eh'. So they smiled and asked if I wanted it in the 'fuck-tory room'. I didn't smile back. I behaved like a good little prude. I just said I have back problems which made them grin harder. Shitttt, do these people really have such little imagination? I almost feel sorry for them. Especially when they winked at the Mister before they left. Oh yeah, they can wink all they like. The thing is I consider my bed to be a sacred place. So many other places for performing. And it needn't cost €400 either....