Il-Gedu`

There is one man who is extremely unique. He is as cheeky as you can get. I have known him for a long time and albeit all the hurtful, incorrect, downright base remarks I have heard about him, he is the one true friend you get in life... if you're lucky. And I'm lucky. His proper name is Joseph, but I have always called him Gedu`. Together we have history, musical history, laughing history, crying history, and loving history. No, no sexual history at all. He is like my other brother. And I trust him just like my brother. He is actually a wise, intelligent chap who will sometimes split your sides with laughter. And... a brilliant musician. He has been there when I cried a lot and when life was so bleak, but I'll say it all in detail tomorrow. I have also had the luck of having this friend working with me within my School College. It couldn't have been better. And he's just been here, at this unearthly hour, to make me happy for my own school project. Gedu`... you're the best. Yes they said so many things, but I go with the evidence, because the evidence never lies.

The dreams

I am still thinking about the really bad night I had and I'm hoping it will be a good one tonight. I cannot have another dream like that. It was like a James Bond film being played backwards. Ok no weapons, but plenty of other action going on. I replayed a scene in my youth (yeah I'm old now), I was probably 22 back then and in real life actually had a lot of action going on. But it was a strange dream where I spoke in French, and although I can also do that in real life, I was constantly trying to avoid and escape another woman's suspicions while getting in on with her husband. Sounds difficult now, but it was very real at 22. Amazing delirious dream where I also had my way and left her stranded. Red dress and heels, poor hubby just lost it, as he did when I was 22. But I am looking at the photos of now and poor hubby doesn't look like a catch at all. He was back then. But I also stranded him, as soon as he stranded the wife. And I've never got over that. My conscience has a habit of creeping up on me, sometimes in these vivid dreams. The thing is it didn't feel bad in the dream. It was all excitement, all plush red velour, all Moulin Rouge style. Me included. I did look like that at 22 anyway. But what hit me so bad, is that I felt so powerful. The world was at my feet and I was about to be a mistress in more than many ways. The world was my slave... in the dream. Not so now. I wonder what dreams may come.

Sorbet?

A friend of mine has just told me about the latest stylish in-thing. Sorbet sex.. She has had me open mouthed for a good minute and deep in thought for a good hour. It seems it's the latest thing. How did I not get to know about it? And it's got our straight from Sex and the City! How did I not know? Am not very fond of sorbets. Frozen stuff with a mushy consistency. Not my idea of sugary delights. But it makes sense. Sorbet sex is just the new term to our old sex-buddy idea. Men have been doing it for years, being a Jack the lad, we almost expect them to have been around the block behaving like that. Finally, we girls have a new word for it. It's for the in-between times of drought when we're over the first course as in a stable relationship. But we're not ready for the main course as yet. However our body physically might not be very much in tune with our pretty heads. So we take a sorbet to wash away the taste of the relationship which might have turned sour and now tastes foul. And we are women enough to admit that yes, of course, we can take our times sifting through the mushy sorbet, and get laid. Just as good as the boys have done. The main course can wait...

Junky?

I have strangely been sick for a whole 24 hours. And it's not been pleasant. It's a funny type of being sick, but a bad one. A being constantly nauseous, throwing up every half hour, splitting headache, shivering, lack of sleep, and delirious dream type kind of sick... during the odd hour that I managed to sleep. Doc says pregnant symptoms, but that is definitely not on. Why do docs keep not ruling pregnancy out even when you know for a fact and tell it to them like it is? Is it because my time window is getting smaller? Don't they realise that some women were not born to bear offspring? Duh, I can never understand this. What I have gone through in the past 24 hours is more like what a junky would go like once he'd come clean. But I am not into drugs, never have been. Perhaps it's the one intelligent decision I have made. Of course I have been offered them, of course I have seen my friends go high. But for some reason, they have failed to interest me. One part of that is that I figured that an addictive person like me would really end up becoming a junky. I am addicted to nicotine, to chocolate. And that's enough. Drugs... no thank you. Life's tough enough. And yes of course I've been laughed at for being a drug spoilsport. I didn't care, I wasn't going to become addicted to another thing like that. So I chose shoes instead, my guess is it's a much healthier option. And yet I am suffering like a junky. Which is so strange. And it makes me angry. I am not one to eagerly await Saturday night so that I can binge drink. I do not wait for parties so that I can swallow something to get high or low. I really don't know much about drugs, all I know, through the info relayed to me by those smart little people, that drugs interfere with your brain. Cool little people, cannot wait to see them again. And since my brain does not work quiet right anyway, something interfering with it.... it would make me go loony anyway. I can never understand why people binge-drink and binge-drug themselves. They are reduced to throwing up people. And throwing up is not nice. It hurts, and it makes me so scared. And although I've missed out on all of this, I am still feeling like... a junkie. Perhaps I am lacking sleep. But I'm scared to sleep because it's bringing on some heavy delirious dreaming. Perhaps I've just got the 24 hour virus and it'll all go away soon. I hope so. Because I'm no junky.