Sunday

So the day of the Lord turned out to be quite boring, as most such days are. Did some web research, chatted to my good friend Joseph on MSN, he's a darling actually. Sometimes you get a good friend, we need friends and we're so lucky we actually get to choose them. And most times they just fall into your lap. Joseph... another blessing in life.

Now tomorrow I'll have my own personal alarm system again, a human one. Brigitte's back, she'll check on my keeping house progress, I've tried hard, I've just cleared the kitchen table for it not to look as if it had just been hit by a bomb. I've not bought any more shoes or jewellery, I hope she'll realise that it's difficult for me to be organised and not to leave stuff running around. I guess she'll find things which will make her cross but she's all right, hopefully she won't get too mad at me. It'll be nice having her here again, hopefully with Jess and Yan too. I am on my own too much, especially in the morning, well not tomorrow.

Anyway, have to go and eat something, I feel dizzy - probably blood pressure's playing up, actually it plays down when I get like this. So buenos noches...... till tomorow.

Dreaming on....

So the dream plague hasn't stopped. I wonder what to make out of it, except that I am not sleeping well. Sleep eludes me somehow, I never could understand how some people switch off the minute they hit their pillow. I am not one of those people, it takes time and effort for me to drift off, and when I do it takes time and effort for me to wake up. Lately, my sleep has been like some trance, in and out, with dreams everywhere. And strangely enough I can remember the dreams. Last night's dream wasn't bad though, I saw this little baby girl, and somebody just dumped her on me. And I was clueless as to what to do, I like babies, but I think I'm not very good at caring for them. So I just held this little baby girl, at the same time, scared that I was doing something wrong. Dream therapy and Gestalt, I tried to focus on this, at first I thought maybe I'd like to have a baby girl? But then maybe the girl was me, an orphan in so many ways. I couldn't see the baby's face but I know she was beautiful and very small and I kept feeling sorry an angry at the same time as in, how could anybody dump a child, worse still such a small baby? Maybe I want to retreat into childhood? Maybe dreams are best left at that - just dreams, but they are invading my sleep territory too much lately. I wonder whether it's to do with my birthday coming up too, I hate birthdays, they just remind you, hey you're another year older. It helps being a twin, at least you're not on your own. Although I really will never understand this twin thing, we're nothing alike, so different. But we're born to the same mum and dad, at almost the same time, same day and same year and that makes us twins. Secretly I appreciate the fact that I am aging gracefully, while my other half looks his age. I also appreciate people asking how much younger I am.... bliss! I just say I am 15 minutes younger and watch their faces getting worked up in confusion. I say I really am, and they think, for a minute, I have lost it completely. Even more bliss. I take my dad's side of the family, and they do not get wrinkles, thank you God for that. My other half of course is the opposite, he takes after my mum.... better stop at that.

Anyway, it's Sunday, another pet hate I have - Sundays. It's the Lord's day so we should all rest, rest, rest.....