Memories of an angel...

I'm not sure what I remember, or if remember anything at all. It's been too long now, so sometimes the memory is hazy and can play the dirtiest trick on the mind. But I do remember that I was in a place so clean and sterilized; one which I wanted to go out of. That wasn't going happening in a hurry. How can a person who is so close to death be oblivious of that fact? And yet here was I having a chin wag with death without really knowing it. Either that, or if by any remote chance I knew that death was so close, I have no recollection of fear. Illness is an ugly thing. But I do not know about the fear of death. I have been spared that. And yes of course people who have had near death experiences speak about the tunnel and the light. All of that is true. The thing is I saw the tunnel, and although it was not pitch dark, there was no glorious deity bathed in gold. It was a nice cosy atmosphere in there, but not enough to want to stay there. I don't know, it wasn't a place called home, but then neither was it too uncomfortable. For once in my life I knew that I didn't have to take a decision, someone else was going to make one for me. I'm not very sure I wanted to go back to the clinical sterile environments with blue doors and where the lights are never switched off. But that is exactly what happened. And extraordinarily, seven months later I type my story here. And that for me is a milestone, I couldn't even sit and watch a monitor for more that a couple of minutes. Now I can, and I can also write.And I will always keep asking for someone to fill me in on the details which till now I can remember. What I really remember is a very kind man who came to sit and stay with me for as long as it took. And no, I didn't imagine that and even if that isn't true, the fact there is some guardian angel looking out for you when you're just about to land elsewhere is kind of comforting. And of course it was a good looking angel, with such kind eyes, and more importantly with Strong gentle hands. And as I write this I am off meds s...