The reality of age

The house is quiet again, clean, and perfect. No more chatter. I like chatter, chatter is good, it uplifts the mood, especially grown-up chatter coming from an eight year old. She'll go far. But I'm not well today, I don't know what it is, but I keep getting dizzy spells and small print looks blurred. I have to look twice slowly at text messages. The feeling's not so nice, it's making me nauseous at times too. I hope it's nothing, but in my heart I know it's something. And I'm far from being a hypochondriac. I'm getting old, I used to think being a grown-up was cool, now I'm not so sure. Aging brings with it more things than wrinkles, all the things you've done in your youth.... they come back with a vengeance. Because when you're young you think that consequences are far away, well maybe it's payback time now. Because when you've pushed your strength in many ways, it's bound to backfire. No matter how valid the reason. That is nature, it spares nobody, it doesn't differentiate between royalty or pauper.

Anyway, this is sounding all too sad. But really, I'll survive. I've survived through much worse things, and it'll be ok. Everyone is not well at some point. I just have to acknowledge that, that's all. I can type but it's still an effort to read, dizzy again. I'm logging off for now.

A` bientot.

Early Morning

Good morning, yes it's early and it's me writing. I left the curtains of my bedroom slightly ajar, and the light trying to fight it's way in woke me up. Too bad after I was getting so dizzy all last night, but I cannot just go and sleep some more, so this will be it today.

I've logged onto MSN, but it's so quiet, everyone's still in their beds, or maybe up getting ready for work. But nobody's logged on. So I just came back to my faithful blog.

Funny thing happened... no dreams. Just when I thought the dreams were going to finish me off for good, hey presto they've vanished, which is a big relief because I was getting up way too muddled. I haven't made my usual coffee yet, I'll wait for Brigitte for that. She's probably going to be very surprised, there have been times when she's rung the doorbell, smoked a whole cigarette and rung the doorbell again before I've come to my senses. Yes I'm that bad at getting out of bed.

I've still got something which feels like butterflies inside the stomach, rather like very subdued stage fright. I wonder where that's coming from. So many things happening all at once, but it's not being sad or anything like that, ok let's look on the bright side of things, it being a Monday morning....maybe it's love!!!! Maybe though, it's the countdown to the end of being 33, it's going to be a 34 pretty soon. I've liked being 33, although I don't like odd numbers much, a double same number is nice. I wonder what I'll think of the next one; 44, that doesn't sound very good. So this week I'll be thinking, it's the last Monday being 33, the last Tuesday, last Wednesday, last Thursday, and last Friday. Come Saturday all that ends, and I'll embark on yet another year. We'll see what the new year brings with it.

Anyway, I just have to put some more things in order, so Brigitte will be impressed!!! Hardly, but I'm trying anyway. Buenos dias.