The Red Admiral

There is something about Malta's green areas which doesn't make them green anymore. I haven't seen a ladybird in about two decades, I haven't seen a caterpillar for more than that. And I haven't seen a butterfly in such a long time that I cannot even find a decent timeline for that. But I saw one today. Amazing little creature, so beautiful. A red admiral, which I have only seen in pictures of books. Why would a red admiral swoop down in a traffic-congested area and rest itself on the head of a ten year old boy? A red admiral of all things? But it has made me so happy, and happy is a word which I haven't used in such a long time, that were it not for it's easy spelling, I would have mispelt outrageously. Why? No idea. I know I have become attached to yet another human being. The human heart is so infinite. Just when you think you've exhausted all the space in your heart, it somehow makes room for more. What an elastic thing this heart is, it's like Lycra. And why would a red admiral, so rare nowadays, stand still on a lonely boy who, at just ten, already knows about the strife of life? A beautiful boy who is shunned by everybody. Except for the butterfly. Which makes me think, we human beings, such complex creatures are not even able to see what a butterfly sees. I have tried to wipe away this boy's tears with a Kleenex and a big hug, and he would not let me go. Neither would I let go. Me, with a maternal instinct? I never thought that was possible, ever. I am not the mumsy type, and yet I am determined to help this child out. Because I promised him to. And he has been let down so many times before, that I will not rest until I see he has a better life. I would just take him away with me without a second thought, if only I could. What do I tell a ten year old boy when he begs me to take him with me? I have no answer, I just wish I could say yes. But I cannot because of judicial bureaucracy. Judicial shit too. But try explaining all of that to a sobbing child, it's not easy. It hurts me to see him hurt. And while I will gladly keep wiping away all the tears, there is still a child out there who is wishing on a star. I have to find that star, and put a smile on his tear-stained face. Whatever that is going to take. The things we do for love are inexplicable, and I love this boy. The red admiral knows that too and is in agreement. That's a sign enough for me.