Weddings

Love, I'm not quite sure what it's all about. Is it about the delirium of kissing and snogging and bonking all the time? I suppose that's a part of love, the way love starts between a totally unrelated man and woman. It's called the honeymoon period. And it makes me wonder because there's also another honeymoon period after the wedding bells are sounded. I've heard so many wedding bells, mostly out of tune. Perhaps the ones in tune are the guarantee of a happy marriage. And since there are so many being out of tune, I'm not surprised that the amount of failed marriages is on the rise. And am I going to risk bells on what should be my grand day? Not if I haven't yet auditioned the bell ringers. I'm also not very sure why it should be my grand day. I've had so many grand days. I know what it's like to be well-heeled. And yet I've had days when I couldn't afford to buy my branded shampoo and had to do with an off the shelf one. And the money really didn't guarantee happiness although it's much easier to be sad and loaded then to be sad and skint. That much is true. I hate these magnet-fridge things you can buy in a lot of souvenir shops which say, 'Money can't buy happiness'. It's true and so not true. I've loved a rich man, and I've loved a poor man. Money didn't come into the love or not equation. But it's nice to live in silk and satin and cashmere and velvet and fur. It's not nice to sleep in silk sheets, no matter how many commercials try to make us think it is. It feels as if you're being dismembered, just like a boob is going to fall off and just as if you've lost your footing because everything is so slippery. Just trying to sleep in silk or satin sheets is a nightmare, making out is impossible. I find it hard to believe that people get down to it in satin and silk and come out alive to tell the tale. I'd put the 191 number as close to the bed as possible because you're really risking breaking your neck, or your hip, or something else! So there's one thing where I will not be needing the luxury on my honeymoon. Cotton is just fine. But then again there's the problem of the blushing bride. I've never really understood that. Why should a bride blush unless she's got some medical condition? Is all the blushing really all because of the night to come? My guess is plenty of couples just fall into bed and sleep on their wedding night, exhausted from their big day. That is just what I will do when my turn comes. And I'll be no blushing bride. It will be a nice day, but it will not be my biggest day. When it comes to things like these, I behave exactly like a man. I will not be staring at glossy magazines sprouting top models in impossible dresses. I will not be whining because I cannot find souvenirs to match the theme. I won't even have a theme. I will try not to be a kill joy and wear ear plugs so as not to hear the sighs of relief when I go down the aisle. Phew, she's made it... at last. Oh well I'm just 35 years young.