My little man

I'm not quite sure how to go about tackling this Christmas. It's going to mark an anniversary, and anniversaries are sometimes very hard to deal with. Or perhaps I am way too sentimental and that makes it hard for me. Some people seem to be able to manage it with the minimal of damage. I wish I could. And it's at times like these when the tough bitch aura suddenly dissolves into the soft woman who fell in love with a little man one year ago. I wonder what that little man is doing now. I hope he's safe, and sound asleep in a cosy bedroom. If hopes were anything to go by then I'd be ok and could go to sleep in a snap. But hopes and wishes do not always come true. That's where my dad went wrong, he made me think that all good things are possible. It was an untruth I would discover on my own, for my very self and find that it tasted very bitter in the process. Fact 1 - I love men. Fact 2 - I love older men. Fact 3 - I love little men. Fact 4 - I love one little man with a love so fierce that it hurts. And I don't mind that hurting me as long as he's safe. But is he? I don't know, I don't have a clue. And the not knowing is hard to deal with. But he promised me he'd grow up to be a good man and come and find me ... that's four more years to go. Oh God I so love my little man!