Hairy

I come here looking like some sort of Indian with a huge turban. I've decided that pampering never broke anybody's bones so I've just treated my hair to a beautiful smelling treatment, which, if what it says on the bottle is true, will get me shiny hair. So while I wait for this potion to work overtime, I've come here to do some more talking. Now I know why mankind invented perfume and scent, and why just a 30ml costs the earth, and why no matter how much it costs I'll always go for the 100ml thank you very much (big hint). My mood of the day seems to have a lot to do with my olfactory nerves. I shy away from sweet, overpowering scents like Dior's Poison, but then I love Dior's J'Adore. At the same time I will kill for what is to me the best perfume ever concocted, Issey Myake Eau D'Issey. Beautifullllll. As is Clinique Happy but not Happy to be. All right I guess I've dropped enough hints now. Back to the hair. I think hair is a fab thing to have. I don't know what I'd do if some horrible witch came in the middle of the night and chopped it off. I'd track her down and burn her at the stake with no qualms about it. I like hair because it grows effortlessly long into a mane which hides my imperfections. There is one downside; it takes ages to wash waist-long hair and ages to dry it. But since I've met Nigel, it's been simpler. He does the whole works in record time. What takes a whole hour for me takes half of that for him. I've always had a thing for hair, better still we've always had a thing for hair, that's me and my twin. I remember the tears when he cut off his beautiful long hair because it wasn't very appropriate for court purposes. I still have that hair, stacked away into a beautiful box. But I don't tell him that, otherwise he'd be knocking on the door every free moment he had. My twin is one man who will not be taking gracefully to a receding hairline, although it's about to start any minute now. Poor Joseph. My Mister, on the other hand is so over the moon that he has no hair to worry about. Talk about opposites. And I? Well it's time up for my treatment, hopefully I'll be back with luxurious locks.