Smoking scream

I was just talking about screams in the bedroom. The ecstatic kind. Now I discover there are other kinds of screams, like the one I was doing in the early morning. Alas, I have to give it to Him, smoking and bedrooms do not go together. I have kept my ground for years, on the theory of, sorry, I'm a smoker, I smoke everywhere and anywhere, if you don't like it well..... And I've smoked in bed, because somehow a smoke is the perfect thing to make me go to sleep. The problem is that of course then my cigarette pack lies on the nightstand, and since I have not yet mastered the art of sleeping all through the night, I get up to smoke. I thought it was strange but if it helped me drift off again, then a smoke was a small thing to do. Not anymore. I have burnt so much bedding, duvets, pillows, and myself in the process. Now I've really done it and burnt the mattress, and I only got to know when the burning hole burnt me in the process. Pain is a big wake up call. I must have drifted off sooner rather than later. It's also a good thing I was hit with the pain, or I could have burnt the whole room up. Mattresses can be replaced, rooms even, but people? And I screamed, a very different kind of scream as to what I was talking about. It was a scream of oh shit something's painful, then the scream of oh God the bed's on fire, until I doused it with Diet Coke. And now I have to put up with all the I told you so's. And it also makes me want to scream, because He was right after all. Never smoke lying down. It could kill you, and not because of the tar.