Claudia Lawrence

Every time the subject of the disappearance of Claudia Lawrence pops up on my Yahoo page, I feel sick. And every time there is a picture of this 35 year old chef gone missing. She is so pretty too, I wonder what type of person could have harmed her. Not because anybody should harm the less pretty ones, but she still is a pretty girl. It takes a creative girl to be a chef too, and one with balls, because it's an almost all male industry. And yet this girl haS made it. I do not want to write about her in the past because I still keep believing that she might one day turn up again alive. I do not know the girl, and yet so much of her is about me too. Police have said that parts of Claudia's life remain a mystery... now why doesn't that surprise me? They have also said she must have had a secret life and been in complicated relationships. And that doesn't surprise me either. They could have been talking about me. What 'single' 35 year old doesn't have parts of her life shrouded in secrecy? What 'single' 35 year old hasn't been in complicated relationships and kept them secret? None. You have to be the 'single' 35 year old to know exactly what that means. And it makes Claudia look bad, for nothing. Because when we girls have reached a certain age, the 'available' men are few, so we have no choice. No, we really have no choice because we are human and also driven by hormones just like men. But men are let off the hook, because it's us who are the home wreckers. Come on, we do not go about on a mission to home wreck, it just so happens that bored married men make a beeline for the pretty women who happen to be us. I will never believe one 'single' 35 year old who says she hasn't been into a complicated love triangle unless she is Santa Maria Goretti and that is because she didn't make it to 35. Not even Saint Theresa of Avila could claim an uncomplicated relationship life with all her devotions of ecstasy. That means, Claudia could have been me, or, better put, I could have been Claudia. And I feel so sorry for her dad who keeps thinking that his child could never have been doing it on the side. My dad would probably have said the same. The thing is, there is no way a parent can know all about their child's going ons. I think of Claudia a lot, and it is spine-chilling, because I thought I was having a ball, and never once considered the fact that I could have walked straight into one dangerous liaison. So Claudia perhaps had a married lover, who hasn't at our age? I hope she comes back and brings the perpetrator to shame. I know hope starts running out after 48 hours, and she has been missing since March. And she might have a secret life, but too secret not to contact her daddy? That's strange because although we might be home-wrecking we will not put our first love, our daddy, in such dire straits. And yet I still hope she is safe. Because it so could have been me.