Ear affairs

If I had to choose one body part, the one which has given me trouble ever since I was a baby it would have to be my ear. I remember dreading Fridays because Fridays were ear-ache days. And no I don't think it was really by suggestion as I didn't yet know all about the psyche. Or maybe I did. I was a smart child you know, really smart. How modest of me at half eleven in the evening. So what's causing it again? I have a hunch it's my wisdom tooth which every now and then decides to inflict a wicked kind of pain; the pain when you cannot even turn your head without hurting. Why my ear, so small, cute, really an attractive ear as ears go. I think it's a top model ear, too bad I didn't get a top model butt, but then we don't always get everything in life. So maybe I got a top model ear, nose, brain... well I didn't fare bad. And I think I'm also winning the biggest boaster on blogspot too at this rate. Anyways, what did my ear do so bad to ache so much? I have to admit it's heard way too many things, mostly way too many notes out of tune, and no those notes were never mine, but more likely out of a female Big Jim violinist who was too close for comfort. Definitely too close for my ear. Because it's quite a perfect ear, and that is not always a good thing. Oh God, the screechings, the bangings, they were a bit too much for my sensitive ear which allows nothing but the best... that means probably my own. Yet more boasting. What could I have done wrong with my ear for the Gods to put it in penance? Nothing really. But through the course of my musical career I have not only had to put up with the dissonance and out of tunes and gross musical indecencies, but also a whole new swearing alphabet. Because, at least in this country, music is very akin to swearing. That was my first impression as a naive 13 year old joining the now Philharmonic. Fast forward, that bit hasn't changed at all. It's still a swearing circus in there. And no, nobody should feel offended because it's all about performing monkeys. Now where can I find that gorilla, baboon, oh yes I can see it all even if I sit in the theatre gallery....