Weddings

Weddings. How I hate them. I hate them so much that I haven't even gone and carried out my own. That's as much as I hate them. I do not hate the commitment part per se, although I have my reservations, but I hate the white white white hustle and bustle with a vengeance. I hate the all things virgin, white flowers, white nails, white dresses. When really why is it so important to be virgin? Does virgin deserve such a lavish wedding party? If so, then my party will consist of hobz biz-zejt, which really sounds very attractive to me. And then, the worst possible most unattractive thing of all, a groom all in white. That sucks. I would never want to marry a Holy Communion Boy. Not that I have anything against Holy Communion, but I want a man man man, not a man in a pageboy outfit. Oh but that's because the groom is a virgin too. I didn't think of that one before. Now that one really sucks. Now that is so dishonest. Are there any virgin brides left? Any virgin grooms? I sincerely hope not. My first time was nothing to shout about, but at least that's happened 20 years ago and I can put it behind me as part of my childhood (yes it is childhood, because that's what I was, a child back then). But putting it as a start to married life? Oh hell no. Just as I'd have the wedding rehearsal then I would have the sex rehearsed too. But it still is supposed to be virgin, well at least for your first marriage. What I just cannot imagine is, suddenly sharing a bed with someone, suddenly having sex with someone. God, just imagine all the fumbling about. Is it here.? emm no, here? No. Here? No, Here. No again. Forget it. But then that's what you would expect out of a white wedding. Thing is, why all the glee about virgin? It's not as if it give you a feather in you cap, but better still a feather in your thingy? Would I have loved to marry my first boyfriend all in white? Thank God that didn't happen, he's in some cell somewhere. Really. But then I could never have married my first boyfriend as a virgin because....yes I loved the bad ones. Second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh... I have lost count. And I couldn't have married most of them because they were already married. Yes I loved the adrenaline rush of doing what you're not supposed to. I'll always have to admit that being a mistress is something every woman should try. Do not fall in love though, so you will not end up broken hearted every time his missus has a headache. Now thinking about me, that means that I know all about married life, from the other side. I will have no trouble sleeping with the man I marry because he'll be then a married man and I have plenty, plenty, plenty of experience as sleeping with married men. True I sound like a bitch, but then I will always recommend that it's good to be a bitch as least for one time in your life. Now, I'm no bitch anymore, although there is perhaps some residue of the past. Weddings again, maybe I will spare you mine, and you've got to kiss my feet for that (mistress residue).