Unsettling

Such an unsettling feeling I have tonight. If it were yesterdays I'd have blamed it on the heat. But not today. It's a day (or night) when I know that the lights in my house will be on for at least half a dozen hours more. And it's almost 11pm. Yes I'm going to have to drag myself in tomorrow. Something doesn't feel right. I have just changed all my winter wardrobe to summer and I'm amazed at all the clothing I have. And it's damn pretty too. So that should make me happy. Trouble is it doesn't. It's not the clothing's fault of course. It's the niggling feeling of change. And of course I don't want change. I might also have to make a decision, the hardest one yet, and I don't know how to decide. I also don't want to make myself guilty, because we all have different personalities and I've known about this decision making being very difficult for me ever since I was little. I could never choose something out of a toyshop. So I'd end up getting two. Thankfully dad was the type of dad who would have given me the moon. He still is. I don't want to say things which I will regret tomorrow but it really feels so empty inside. Perhaps I should take a course about decision-making, because it's all so very Greek to me. I keep swaying this way and that. And it reminds me of my dear twin who is off in Spain. He doesn't think twice about decisions that's for sure. I really will never understand the extreme freak of a nature which made us twins. We only have a birthday which is similar. Nothing else. Am stopping here. I just don't have the energy tonight. Sorry guys, I know I'm not very entertaining this evening. It'll be a brand new day tomorrow.