Monahhhh Lisahhhh

I have a wicked friend. Well not wicked in the bad sense of wicked. She happens to have the best sense of humour ever, and that is what I call wicked. And she has indeed inspired me to write about Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa whose smile has puzzled so many people for so many years. I cannot take the full credit for the following but here goes anyway. So what was behind Mona's smile? Plenty of people have come up with as plenty of answers. My kind of questions, why is this enigmatic woman without eyelashes and eyebrows? Why the faint smile, which makes her look like the cat who got the cream? It is just a half-length portrait of a woman who isn't even pretty. And yet she looks as if she's got something up her sleeve... or down. According to my wicked (although I love her to bits) friend, the Mona Lisa gracing the Louvre is only part of a whole portrait which was censored. I love the idea. I wish I could draw. Since I can't I will have to draw in words instead. The half length portrait of a woman sitting down with folded arms.... that's because she was just lying there with another doing the job. What job? A blow job. Think about it, try to imagine the lower part of the portrait conveniently cut and stashed away never to be seen again. Mona is sitting with her legs spread wide open, her skirt is lifted giving access to a young girl who is intent on pleasuring Mona. In other vulgar words, some girl is licking and drooling over Mona's private parts. And she seems to be doing a swell job too. Otherwise why the cynic smile? Leonardo was genius hence Mona's no stupid bimbo. Her smile says... I've fooled all of you, because not one of you ever thought I had a lesbian lover. blowing me down there. But I had, and got away for it for the last five hundred years. Oh I got the cream all right. Big big sigh ahhhhhhh!