Love unconditional?

I have been sleeping for the greater part of the day. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep. No that's wrong, because if it were true then my beauty would depend on my head touching my lovely pillow. Do I need beauty sleep? Of course not, I am a royal after all. But catching up on it doesn't harm anybody, well except for my bed perhaps, but then my bed loves me unconditionally. My pillow too. Strange thing this, inanimate objects love us unconditionally, but that is perhaps because they don't know how to swear at us. My big bath also loves me, as does my sofa, again unconditionally. My keyboard pc really is the patient of them all. I regularly shower it with cigarette ash and ditch it once every two months, and poor things they don't even voice their opinion while I'm stuffing them in a garbage bag. My jewellery is another thing, it's probably swearing it's head off but since it's in a drawer I can't hear it. I guess it's dying to come out, but most days I really do not feel one inch bothered. Oh and my shoes, I think those swear in silence. I love my shoes but I abuse them terribly. If there were an Appogg for shoes I would be behind bars by now. Strange thing is, they all love me unconditionally, but then I love them too. I'm not sure it's unconditional love though.