THE Cycle

I read my last entries and realise just how cocky (pun not intended) I can be. But I'm getting so less cocky it's amazing. Probably what kept me awake last night. The cycle. The usual cycle, the only time when I want to be a man. And I really want to be a man so perhaps I could have my balls tied with an elastic band so that it cuts off blood circulation until they shrink and fall off somewhere. But we're not that simple alas. I don't know what I could tie. I would if I could. I really really would. But I am a girl, that much I've been certain of for a very long time. Being a twin to a boy makes you realise there are heaploads of differences at a very early age. And yet I never asked my mum anything. I probably figured she'd tell me a fat lie because I was young. Yep I never had exactly a low I.Q. It's only now that I've turned sort of stupid and mentally challenged sometimes. Age does that to you, well it does to me. But there are other differences, not just of the physical kind. If I open my bathroom cabinet there are plenty of tampons, (enough for all the klandestini at the closed and open centres), face cleansers, serum, tonics bla bla bla. Mister only has a cleanser and a moisturiser. No tampons. It's not fair. We should be given an allowance for this thing. So so uncomfortable, it so happens that once a month, my whole perspective on life changes. I get depressed, I feel irritable, and I not just bark but bite also. Suddenly everything sucks. I suppose it's nature and life, but one thing will not be sucking anything lest it bites... and that's me.