The Gods are at it again. I have now caught the most beautiful cold ever. Prosit Gods, I cannot even breathe. A small price to pay though. But I'm thinking.... if I had to write an entry against butts, would the Gods remove mine? Or give me a small one as punishment? And if I had to write against small bellies, would they give me a trim one overnight? And if I had to write and make fun of small people, would I get small suddenly? It's a thought, one worth thinking about. But since I have to be true, then I cannot write such stuff. I do not mind small people, small butts or bellies. So I cannot suddenly declare war against all that is small. It cannot get any worse than this I hope, I just cannot breath...
But then again perhaps it's another form of punishment by the Gods for having laughed my butt off for a whole half hour. Now I am so not domesticated, but if someone gave me a broom, I'd know just what to do with it. Me being Me, I'd go off to Fairyland, because me being me, then I'd be the queen witch. A nice witch. But having kept my feet firmly on the ground for a whole half hour paid off. I got to watch a half hour tutorial called, "How to use a broom" as in landlubbers' broom. And I laughed my butt off, and had a pretty good time, and didn't pay a thing. I saw a very patient man showing another lazy man how to put a broom to good use. How the hell can someone over 50 not know how to use a broom when he's actually being paid to do it. And how the hell does a man remain so calm, cool, collected and very patient when it's obvious that he's being had? I don't know. I just know that had I a tub of popcorn in hand, it would have been funnier to watch than anything showing at Eden Century. What a comedy, one that should have lasted 5 minutes which turned to 10, to 15 to 20, to 30+. And there I watched, in disbelief. Happy disbelief. Because come on, even for a Diva like me, with hands as soft as a baby's bottom because I do no housework at all, a broom tutorial is hilarious. Especially if the one on the receiving end has probably been employed to do it for years. And more especially when the one on the giving end has better things to do and is seething and swearing under his breath. I laughed my butt off, but I was sly enough not to allow the perpetrator see me. Because it's lazy old him who opens the elevator for me. Which probably makes a lazy old me. But I don't care, I'm the Diva, he's nothing of the sort. And this time I'm not so sure I'll be punished by the Gods. I wasn't laughing at the expense of someone unable to do a little job, but of someone pretending he couldn't do the job. And that makes all the difference. May we all sweep forever and ever... AMEN.
