The Rock

A good friend of mine who tends to be funny, if not hilarious with her comments is demanding about the ring, better still, about the rock. Hmmm I didn't think of that. But a girl like me, do you think I'd make do with a 000.1 carat rock Rob? It's all big with me, I don't know why but I like big things, and I like big rocks too. Big 8 carat rocks Rob. What do you think? As I sift through my knowledge of rocks, I remember that a Kobe Bryant who was charged with rape, gave his wife Vanessa an apology ring, with a stunning 8-carat purple rock worth about $4 million. And of course Mrs. Bryant forgave him as long as she had her rock. Who wouldn't? I would, and I guess you would too Rob dear. Adultery is a very small price to pay in comparison to a $4 million rock. But I wouldn't want a purple one, but a dazzling white one, and I'd probably not settle for an 8 carat either, I'd demand, not ask for, a 16 carat rock to compensate (rikumpens Rob!) for all the hardship caused. Yeah right, what hardship, nothing is hardship next to a rock like that. And even if you're done with a Mr. Bryant, just shed a few crocodile tears, take the ring... and make a quick exit... making sure your rock and ring are on your finger. I'm not sure why I like rocks on jewellery so much, seeing that I couldn't care less for the globigerina limestone rocks we are surrounded with. Rocks are so filthy and dusty unless they're coming from Antwerp, with a certificate and chiseled to perfection. Sometimes I am so confused when I see Sterling Jewellers ads, and Vascas ads, they have such small rocks on show. Is a girl really happy with a minute micro tiny rock placed into the claws of a thin gold ring? Why? Are men content with tiny micro sex? Of course not, they want the whole works. But a rock that small equals just a little bit of fondling, that's it. Rocks equal sex, the bigger the rock the better and the more lifelike the sex. And in very much the same manner, I am not content with tiny scraps of rock on a finger. What makes this girl happy is a big rock in the shape of a big big diamond, mounted on a proper ring. Because as long as I can flash it, I will.... do it.

P.S. Rob RSVP