Abstinence

So instead of wasting an evening feeling very hung up about tomorrow, I'm going for a SWOT analysis, because I have suddenly decided that 6 hours out of my life are a long time. I'm not going to be depressed and sad just because of one asshole. Why am I suddenly not looking forward to something which actually used to make my day and my week? I know why. It's because I'm suddenly going to be monitored by a puny churchmouse who doesn't even have the authority to monitor. And I'm a big gal, I'm not going to be scared off by a churchmouse half my size and with half my brains too. Why should a churchmouse throw me into a sudden sadness, it's not on. Oh hell no, I've braved sewage rats and won, a pallid mouse isn't scaring me. And now I don't feel sorry anymore for myself. And it's not as if I want to get into the boxing ring very soon. I don't, and I won't. Because sometimes abstinence is just as good as activity. And I can't help but smile. It's the sex issue again. Abstaining from sex is sometimes just as good as not abstaining. If not abstaining means you're going to stare at the ceiling and marvel at the perfect gypsum, then you'd just as well abstain and catch up on your sleep. Any girl (I'm abstaining from using the word woman) of 35 will have had her share of hours of staring-at-the-ceiling sex when suddenly you get so bored that you just go ahead and fake it praying it'll be over. (All men fall for this because men love having their ego rubbed more than they like having they privates rubbed. And then any girl of 35 will have had those minutes called rhapsody Oh Yeses when it will have been so much worth the time. But I cannot see churchmouses as rhapsodic in any way. Churchmouses cannot even do a decent lullaby. So it's just not worth the time to practice my imaginary boxing, and really not worth my time of feeling depressed. I'm so much perkier now. I'm abstaining from the whole issue. And just in case someone gets any wrong ideas, no I'm not sexually starved, and I'm no sex maniac. I'm just a seasoned gal that's all.