S is for Sleeping...not for Sex

So, owing to the fact that whatever I'm writing here is touring the world quite a bit, I have to clarify. I don't actually have to, but it's best I do. Here it is... no I am not against sex, or allergic, or have a bad reaction to it. Nor am I a man hater, a lesbian, a woman who has been cheated on and now has taken to make men beg. I am none of those. I just think that there are so many other things in the world, and one of those is sleeping. Sleep doesn't come easy to me, and when something is hard to get, you seem to want it more. There are a million of other times when sex would be appropriate, but that is not during sleeping time. Some people think beds are made for sex. And that's awful because it means they have no imagination or creativity to carry it onto something else, and past the bedroom. If that were true, then advertising bedrooms would be made illegal because they'd be bordering on porn. And again, if that were true, then I, for one, wouldn't have happily ordered my master bedroom without a red face to go with it. And I know it's called a Master bedroom, but it still does it for the Mistress. And sex doesn't have to be scheduled, it's supposed to be spontaneous... within legal boundaries. I will never understand why so many young people actually do it in the car, and why so many young girls accept it. Hey girls, if we're going to do something creative then we need the luxury to go with it; satin sheets, not a car buckle seat, high ceilings to be able to move about, a tiger rug (although that is so retro), air conditioning so as not to freeze to death. The man who thinks that sex is a time when one should be cuttin down on Enemalta bills could just about trawl the streets of Gzira, although they're pulling that down soon too. Stingy men are selfish and will not wait for you, anywhere, and not during the what you call it. Be clever girl and make the time the time to evaluate if the man is actually worth keeping or not. There is also something called bedside manners. You see, I'm not anti-men at all. At 35 I am more choosy. And I will not be impressed if a man so much as tries to interfere with my sleep for a sexual reason. So let sleeping dogs lie. Because Lorena was far from stupid.