Experience at 25?

So here I go again, my back hurts. The lower part of my back, just where the end of the spinal chord meets my butt. Of course my butt has to be in the picture. It always is. Big (pun not intended) sigh. I have been wondering why I am experiencing the same type of lower back pain which was chronic for some good 14+ years. It came from everyday orchestral playing. But now? And yes I remember, yesterday's Diet Coke's tragedy. I had to change mattresses, and that's tough when you're on your own, so tough that you end up with back pain. Oh well, it'll go away on its own. The real tragedy is I still cannot break the pattern I have fallen into. Up at 8, coffee, cigarette, throw clothes on and go go go. That's about it, not even moisturiser. And I am not like this at all, I was once the synonym of Carnival paint. The only tell tale sign are my nails which of course since they do not need doing up every day are perfect every day. Although I don't actually think that respect comes through powders, shadows, and sticks. But it would help me, it's just for me. A colleague of mine today decided I am an interesting person, or better put, the way I go about my job is interesting and excellent. It felt good and I loved her for it, because yes I love lapping up praise, being a performer, well we like the applause. But very haughtily, and because modesty is not in my vocabulary, I know that. I do something well or not at all. No in-betweens there. The thing which also helps is that I love my job, and I love lighting little people's faces up with excitement. Yes, I haven't changed at all in there, I love the drama. Cannot help it, but I feel that as long as it's an inspiration I guess it's ok. I do not follow notes, and I do not know why it comes so easy to me. I'll be straight about it, I have loads of knowledge, have been in the music entertainment industry for year, I guess I have a lot of the frightening word called experience. It's scary because it indicates years and aging. And I don't like it. Not one bit. But I like the experience because I can answer any question under the sun, and perhaps it's hard to believe, but some little people can ask some very dangerous questions. I don't mind, the more dangerous the better, I am attracted to danger anyway. I have no syllabus, I have had no formal Maltese training (plenty of foreign), and yet I make do. In all honestly more than make do, I like putting in a spark, I remember myself as a little person and what I would have liked to listen to and learn. That is one very good trick, to take your own self some 25 five years ago. That is experience. I used to think 25 was old, now I think I'm just going to be 25 and stay there. It's just a white lie...