It's been a mad, mad day, full of rushing, meeting deadlines. I've met all of them. Thank God for deadlines, I work so much better under the pressure of deadlines. I don't know why.
It's dark outside, I can see the darkness from my back terrace where there are trees, cats running around which make for the fact that there are no mice or rats. It's safe outside, it's dark, but still safe. I used to shy away from the dark when I was little. I was terrified that sharks would come out from under my bed, and even as a child I knew it was impossible, but I still took no risks. I have since made peace with the dark. Nothing terrifies me now just because it is in the dark. Not even the dark in my heart. Before, I could never cope with the dark, what was worse was the dark in my heart. I was once so happy go lucky, so free, until the first hitch with the dark. No I couldn't move, it was that bad, debilitating. And I couldn't find the light switch. Until I learnt that nobody finds the light switch suddenly and becomes exposed to bright light. It happens gradually, getting that bit brighter every day. I don't want anybody having dark in their heart. Life is too short for that. It happened to me, and I had to go through the whole process of moving the dimmer switch one millimetre every day. And it's not easy but somehow I made it. It pains me to see other people in the same process, so much that I want to suddenly shine a floodlight so they may carry on in peace. But it's just my wish, because I know it cannot be done overnight. Pain is easy to acquire, hard to get rid of. In the same way it's so easy to put out the light but so hard to find the light switch again. Because it's dark and finding our way in the dark is a difficult task. Enemalta... I don't care how much it costs, I don't care about the surcharge, or even if the price of oil suddenly soars, I will pay in advance if need be. What hurts me the most is not the fact that sometimes we adults are suddenly dealt a big blow in life, we somehow cope, or perhaps we heal through acceptance. The unsightly gash will somehow heal into a scar. Still a scar, but never the infected wound again. Can we really say the same for little people who are wounded through no fault of theirs? And can't we do something to disinfect the wound and patiently clean it daily in a bid to heal it once and for all? Or is it just in my dark?
It's dark outside, I can see the darkness from my back terrace where there are trees, cats running around which make for the fact that there are no mice or rats. It's safe outside, it's dark, but still safe. I used to shy away from the dark when I was little. I was terrified that sharks would come out from under my bed, and even as a child I knew it was impossible, but I still took no risks. I have since made peace with the dark. Nothing terrifies me now just because it is in the dark. Not even the dark in my heart. Before, I could never cope with the dark, what was worse was the dark in my heart. I was once so happy go lucky, so free, until the first hitch with the dark. No I couldn't move, it was that bad, debilitating. And I couldn't find the light switch. Until I learnt that nobody finds the light switch suddenly and becomes exposed to bright light. It happens gradually, getting that bit brighter every day. I don't want anybody having dark in their heart. Life is too short for that. It happened to me, and I had to go through the whole process of moving the dimmer switch one millimetre every day. And it's not easy but somehow I made it. It pains me to see other people in the same process, so much that I want to suddenly shine a floodlight so they may carry on in peace. But it's just my wish, because I know it cannot be done overnight. Pain is easy to acquire, hard to get rid of. In the same way it's so easy to put out the light but so hard to find the light switch again. Because it's dark and finding our way in the dark is a difficult task. Enemalta... I don't care how much it costs, I don't care about the surcharge, or even if the price of oil suddenly soars, I will pay in advance if need be. What hurts me the most is not the fact that sometimes we adults are suddenly dealt a big blow in life, we somehow cope, or perhaps we heal through acceptance. The unsightly gash will somehow heal into a scar. Still a scar, but never the infected wound again. Can we really say the same for little people who are wounded through no fault of theirs? And can't we do something to disinfect the wound and patiently clean it daily in a bid to heal it once and for all? Or is it just in my dark?
