I have just broken my own record of the day I woke up the latest out of all the days of my life. It's 12 noon and I've just grumpily got up. I think if I hadn't forced myself I would have got up later but I do not like waking up when half of the day is over. . Although to my credit, I finally got to bed at 4 in the morning, so that sounds that bit less lazier. Well, never mind, it's done now, useless crying over spilt sleep. And today will probably be a hell of a boring day because it's Sunday, and it's not the Sunday before Christmas where the capital was full of exciting things, such as the shops being open. I loved last Sunday, it is probably the only Sunday I like throughout the whole year. And I have to wait for next year for it to come again. This is one day I really miss not being in London's Brent Cross. Well, it can't be helped.
So, the plans for the day. I have no plans. Perhaps I should start clearing out my wardrobe which is still in summer mode. But that's such a big job to do on the day of rest. Perhaps I could start putting my jewellery in its proper place but even that is another hard job seeing that jewellery is running all over the place. And this is going to sound terribly silly, but I miss my twin. My twin who has gone to Gozo for the weekend, whom I saw just yesterday and who will be coming this evening. That means it's not even a 48 hour apart, and yet I miss him. And all through yesterday I had this weird scary feeling that something ugly might happen. I just transformed myself into the mother who worries herself sick because someone might spike her son's drinks. And I am no mother, but a twin sister. And now I understand why my mother was always so worried when I was running all over during my teenage years. Oh God, she must have had it hard, I was not exactly an exemplary teen. I thought I knew it all, and now that I realise which road I could have gone down, well I'm sorry for putting my mum, and dad through such misery. I did nothing legally wrong, never did, but 16 years later I realise that I was in danger, because I was with the wrong man who did everything wrong, just a girl who hooked up with a very bad boy. And yes I could have gone down the path he went down, but somehow my mum's prayers were listened to just in time. Because little miracles do happen, it's just that this was a big one. There was no way I was leaving this bad boy, and yet one day I did just that, to the relief of my mum, dad, and my twin. I am not very proud of myself when I remember, but I really knew no better. Bad boys have something attractive about them, the problem is that the worry supersedes the attractiveness and tears your guts out. No more bad boys. Mum really knew better. And I wonder how, seeing that she was no expert in the love stakes, her having married her first and only boyfriend, a true gentleman who happens to be my dad. I really wonder how. But she knew it, all along. And I also remember my dad who actually cried tears because somebody else was abusing his baby. Yes I know, I will never fit into any baby stuff, but I will always be my dad's baby. That's how it is. Such a turbulent time. Now I wish I had listened to them, but I console myself that at least I listened just in time. I know mum and dad will probably never read this, seeing they are both computer illiterate. But just in case they do, well, I have to admit, they really knew better, all along.
So, the plans for the day. I have no plans. Perhaps I should start clearing out my wardrobe which is still in summer mode. But that's such a big job to do on the day of rest. Perhaps I could start putting my jewellery in its proper place but even that is another hard job seeing that jewellery is running all over the place. And this is going to sound terribly silly, but I miss my twin. My twin who has gone to Gozo for the weekend, whom I saw just yesterday and who will be coming this evening. That means it's not even a 48 hour apart, and yet I miss him. And all through yesterday I had this weird scary feeling that something ugly might happen. I just transformed myself into the mother who worries herself sick because someone might spike her son's drinks. And I am no mother, but a twin sister. And now I understand why my mother was always so worried when I was running all over during my teenage years. Oh God, she must have had it hard, I was not exactly an exemplary teen. I thought I knew it all, and now that I realise which road I could have gone down, well I'm sorry for putting my mum, and dad through such misery. I did nothing legally wrong, never did, but 16 years later I realise that I was in danger, because I was with the wrong man who did everything wrong, just a girl who hooked up with a very bad boy. And yes I could have gone down the path he went down, but somehow my mum's prayers were listened to just in time. Because little miracles do happen, it's just that this was a big one. There was no way I was leaving this bad boy, and yet one day I did just that, to the relief of my mum, dad, and my twin. I am not very proud of myself when I remember, but I really knew no better. Bad boys have something attractive about them, the problem is that the worry supersedes the attractiveness and tears your guts out. No more bad boys. Mum really knew better. And I wonder how, seeing that she was no expert in the love stakes, her having married her first and only boyfriend, a true gentleman who happens to be my dad. I really wonder how. But she knew it, all along. And I also remember my dad who actually cried tears because somebody else was abusing his baby. Yes I know, I will never fit into any baby stuff, but I will always be my dad's baby. That's how it is. Such a turbulent time. Now I wish I had listened to them, but I console myself that at least I listened just in time. I know mum and dad will probably never read this, seeing they are both computer illiterate. But just in case they do, well, I have to admit, they really knew better, all along.
