Dreams

I don't know if dreams have any bearing of what's going on in life, but I seem to have been struck strangely by some kind of dream influenza. I cannot stop dreaming, and they're not the best of dreams. And they're not insipid I-have-won-the-lottery dreams either. Sometimes they're reflective, sometimes they're dragging up the past, sometimes the past is coming to life, with details which are impossible. They're never about the future though. Perhaps I'd like to relive the past the way I arrange it in my dreams, as if I'm trying to find some closure. It really seems like it, and it's closure about so many things which have been left as unfinished business. Perhaps also, it's the guilt of choosing a better life for myself, but you can only do so much, and you have a duty not to wreck yourself. That much I now understand, although it is still difficult. But a degree in Gestalt teaches you that at the very least. Another perhaps, I feel wronged somehow, and I'm going back trying to relive everything the way it should have, or the way I'd have liked it to be. Maybe I'm wrong in all of this, but these dreams have issues which go back so long.

Harvy. I'm worried about him in Spain. Talked to him, he doesn't sound too well. Ok he's not well, a bit sick with real influenza, but I can feel some sadness there. Life hasn't been too easy on him either. His Colombian roots, he's been raised so differently to me. I never had to go and work the fields before school, to survive. Probably all that work is what gives him a physique from heaven though. But it'll be ok, we're in the EU now and people with a Spanish citizenship are allowed in. They'd better be. But this is when the geographical distance makes it harder. Not long to go now, but each day is like a whole year.

Anyway, I have some things to get done such as renew my passport.... buenos dias.