Queen?

I know one man who has an extremely good philosophy. He sucks at a lot of things, but his way of thinking in this matter is quite remarkable. Because he doesn't just think, he believes what he thinks. Perhaps sometimes falling in love with yourself just because you've seen your reflection is a good idea after all. And this man really doesn't care one bit what other people think. He doesn't even shrug it off because it doesn't even get to him in the first place. Not me. I scan and scrutinise everything and everyone, and the littlest look I will interpret in my own way, which is almost not a very good way. And I will keep thinking and thinking and make myself sick. But I do it in private, because sometimes it makes me cry. And a bitch never cries. I have to keep up appearances. Which is completely the wrong thing to say but I've said it anyway. I really feel I'm in a time warp. I should be living in the days when the thrones of queens were built wider than those of kings. Or maybe I should be living in prehistoric times when a woman like me was so adored and looked up to that people actually made a real goddess out of her. I like seeing her at tourist souvenir sites. She makes my day. Because for a moment my imagination can take me back in time, and I suddenly find a buddy in a clay memento. And yet I cry. And although I've tried to adopt this man's philosophy of not caring one bit about what people think and say, I do not succeed. Yet somehow the same man thinks I am awesome, and I guess I've been lucky there. He actually thinks I am beautiful, and as in many other things, he believes what he says. And I don't argue. He is never embarrassed, not one bit, on the contrary he thinks he's won the best prize in the world. And I don't argue with that one either. And yet I want to cry, although I know that would make him angry, and an angry him is not a pretty sight. His temper is really something. And as from today I am going out an armed woman. Do not get in my way because I've had enough. Careful, if you comment on whatever you see, you might just go blind. And it will have been all your fault. And no I won't be sorry, I won't even do time for you, because I have a right to live too. So, leave me alone. Because if the man with the good philosophy thinks and believes he is the king of kings, then that makes me the queen of queens.