The wife

I have been so many things in life. But I've never been 'the wife'. And I hope I'll never be 'the wife'. Because once a girl becomes 'the wife', then it means opening the door to a lot. I think it's rude of a man to call his wife 'the wife' for starters. She should be his partner, the one he shares his life with, the one he'll grow old with. Yeah right. That's what should be. Reality is sometimes very different. And of course I know that there must be such couples like that out there. But I don't think I've ever met them. I think they must have grown so very old that they've died now. Because there must be a reason why so many married men have never said, well, no. Or perhaps I've just met the sad married population of man. But then again perhaps I am a wife. Sharing your life with a man makes you a wife. Or does it? The problem is when it becomes official. Everything is a problem when it becomes official. You're 15 and desperate to be 16. Then suddenly you're 16 and that's a problem because you so desperately want to be 18. Then you're desperate to be seen as an adult. And yet again suddenly you want to be young again. Because once you're officially 36, you start fibbing the little white lies. You're in kindergarten and so desperately want to be in Junior school. Then you want to be in Senior School. Then you live for the day when you can burn your uniform. And yet you still stay in school because now it's an option. Same as in status. Marriage, we call that a status. That's in every application, even when you're applying to be a witch with a magic broom. And when you come to tick the little boxes, marriage is always on top. I don't know why. Perhaps because marriage is a lot about being on top? When I was younger I used to tick the single box and want to scream. Now I tick the single box and smile. Because when you're not 'the wife' you know exactly what your man is up to. You're called 'a lover'. And that's such a more attractive word than 'the wife' innit? You get to be taken out all the time. You do not have to have dinner ready. You don't even have to do the laundry. You get to enjoy long lazy nights of this and that. You get to enjoy dinners and outings. Because sometimes men are tired of being married to women on top. So they go for the single one, they tick the bottom box. It doesn't mean that you're beneath them. It just means we're not 'the wife'. We're the ones 'on the side'. Oh dear, how wrong that is. Because we're never at the side, just so very much at the centre, and dare I say, we're the ones on top too.