Solo loving

I've still not made it to hotdog heaven yet. But I will in a minute. The one who thinks he's God says he's done for the day. That means I have at least 5 more minutes. So I come here, another haven, my therapy haven. And as I muse on today's events, I realise that I have not been treated as well as today for ages. It feels as if I have been treated like a person, no, it not only feels like it. It has been that way. Or perhaps it's been a while now since I've got down to some serious lovemaking; the kind called love-myself-making. I take my close network of people for granted, in a way that they always treat me like a human being with a brain and a heart. But those people love me, so they'd do just that. I kind of expect it out of them. But people outside of my everyday routine treating me like a normal human being. I don't get that very much. And I hate to say this but now I suddenly understand the therapy cliche`... you've got to love yourself, only then can you fully love others. And with all my ranting and raving about me the Goddess, me the Diva, me this and me the other, I think I could start a loving relationship with myself. And about time too. It is not my intention to brag, but perhaps the God in the previous entry seriously created a human being who deserves to love herself more. I am trying to figure out what it's called, solo loving perhaps? But then that brings something else to mind, shit all this sex jargon. The sad thing is that I am so grateful for having been treated as a person. The good news is that it's not stopping here. It's a start, perhaps a late one, but still a start. Because I am coming to the conclusion that God wasn't mean at all with me, so I cannot possibly be mean with the me He himself created... lovingly enough. And that makes me one very happy individual indeed. Because although having been hurtled into Earth as part of two, I am still an individual; at least to some people who can think. And feel. The word lovemaking will never mean the same again.