Underwear

Sometimes I find myself thinking about things which are almost best left alone. They are also mostly left hidden, at least they were in my day and age. Not now. And it makes sense. Underwear, it's supposed to be worn under something, but nowhere on the tag does it say that a flash of it could make you go wrong. Underwear can be expensive, and there is no way I am letting a Wonderbra go to waste, hidden beneath something else. It does not mean I'm going out in just it, although I would if it were not for the thought that I might get arrested for soliciting. And no, just in case you were thinking, I need no Wonderbra either. No maximiser or minimiser. The Good Lord has bestowed me with a perfect set of headlamps. Praise the Lord, He's been good to me in that sphere, or twin sphere. But, underwear is something we all have to deal with, and whether we think that a baggy set of bloomers is considered ok to lounge about in some others like me have other opinions. Everyone wears underwear. Even the Pope wears underwear, at least I hope and think so, that is perhaps one other reason why he broke his wrist, he was trying to fit into the latest embroidered white papal thong. The Queen of England wears underwear, and I don't think she buys it off London's high street M&S. Perhaps she has tangas matching every outfit in the same way she has hats matching every outfit. Even GonziPN wears underwear, although I guess it's of the ill-fitting kind, the way he squirms a lot nowadays. Perhaps we should all take a leaf out of GonziPN's squirming and come to the conclusion that blue underwear is just too tight. I wonder what Mrs. Gonzi wears, does she wear suspenders? Underwear can really get an old soul like me very confused. I see female underwear ads holding things up while male underwear ads keep holding things down. Did Ghandi wear underwear, and was it beige marl? Did Shakespeare wear underwear? Mozart even? Did they try to force things down too? Henry the VIII? Did his wives wear underwear? Was it the reason he killed them all? And why do so many men keep rubbing their crotch area? Is it because Lycra is itchy? What about Mother Teresa? Did she wear a girdle? What cup size did she take? Joe Demicoli... does he wear underwear? My insight tells me he might also wear a thong for 5 minutes, then reverse it because it's up his crack too much. And what about the infamous alpha monkeys? What do they wear? They never wear vests of course lest it interferes with their hirsute chest. Below the belt? Boxers of course because they are dying to show the world that they need extra space which conceals the shocking bulges. Underwear will always cover a multitude of sins, be they physical or physical again. What about me? Well, I'll be damned if I cover up completely and not show a hint of brassiere. It's way too expensive to keep it private. Because if God gave me an asset(2 to be precise), I just have to be the living proof of His glory. I am one of the chosen ones. Praise the Lord.