True Story

Something (someone) recently jogged my memory a little bit. And I remember one story which I just have to put into here before I die. It's so sad that it turns funny, tragic comedy kind of. Let's call a man a Mr. M. This Mr. M has been besotted by yours truly since a very early age, my early age not his, seeing he is some 20 years older. He's done all the running around, popping up at places where he's least expected and least welcome. But I was 16 and of course I could never accept his asking me out, because it would have been illegal. Hurray for the law! That didn't stop him, he waited. One would think awwww that's so sweet. It isn't, not when you're as attracted to the guy in the same way as you're attracted to bubble gum in your hair. Anyway, time passed, loads of things happened, years went by, and he never wore himself out. Finally, I felt such a bitch that just to put my conscience in place, I made an effort and went out on a date. Date was a very nice expensive Malaysian restaurant. So far, so good. Except for myself not being able to hold a conversation. He was/is 5 inches shorter than I am... that already spelt disaster. Suddenly a parcel appears on the table. I thought, oh God this one's sweet, he brought me a present! Very short-lived happiness, I opened the packet only to find... a bra, and a raunchy bra at that, not a normal one, the kind bra which makes a girl really wonder where her breasts are supposed to fit. Nowhere, because it was like a cut-put bra. Imagine the embarrassment, I just pushed it back and took a look at his eyes. It wasn't a joke, Mr. M wasn't kidding. I just picked at my food, and let him do the talking, bla bla bla, I hadn't a clue what the hell he was talking about. I had made one serious mistake though. I'd let him pick me up so now the dinner was done I was in his hands entirely. And of course, lo and behold, he invited me to see his seafront apartment. The guy was wasting no time, he was going to be an estate agent at 1 in the morning. Cool, or not so cool, when you've been around the block as few times you know exactly what to expect. It turned out to be a fabulous apartment, just by the sea, perfect, except for one thing, it belonged to Mr. M. So I saw the kitchen, the bathroom, and then came... the bedroom. It was already lit by a really cute lampshade, then I looked at the bed. OMG there were implements of all sorts, whips, cuffs, keys, small cages... I was getting out of there. I was actually enthralled by all the equipment laid out, but I wasn't telling. I just made him sorry he was ever born, said I was a lady and of course I didn't sleep around. I'm not sure what made me say that. I have at least a little bit of knowledge as in whips and cuffs. It just was very bad timing, with the very wrong person. Now had it been a Mr. Big....