One dead bitch... Yeah!

It seems like Malta has become *the* country of wannabes. Wannabe this, wannabe that, wannabe singers... they seem to be mushrooming as fast as the potholes. The thing is, potholes are sad because they are for real and can be responsible for a lot of swearing. Wannabe singers are also sad because they are not for real but are also responsible for my lot of swearing... and my a lot of smiles, a lot of I-told-you-so's. And while I glare at the potholes, I smile candidly at these wannabes and tell them to go go go because I want to have one big festa inside. Yes I'm a bitch and I know it. But this particular wannabe also can also dangerously compete in the who's-the-biggest-bitch competition. She is a dangerous competitor, but not for a seasoned bitch like me. Because there is place for one bitch, one diva.... me. So this bitch has me worried for a whole week, I thought it was going to be hellishly uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable, for her, not for me. I was risking being struck by lightening because all this was happening in the house of God. But God knows that I might be a bitch, but I know my thing. So bitch one was waiting, in all her glory, dressed to kill and pouting to throw up. Bitch 2 was apprehensive but decided she was going to grin and bear it.. that's me. Not only did I grin, but I laughed and laughed and felt so triumphant that I could have jumped for joy. Because with all the pouting, bitch one is a wannabe, cannot sing to save her size zero life. And I didn't behave like a bitch, I tried encouraging her... to do even worse. Don't be scared hanini, belt it out sabiha, isa keep it up like that. Yeah right, I think she was shit scared, didn't feel an inch sabiha, and kept up the disgraceful thing she was doing. Me.. well, ahem, I'm the pro. I will never go wrong in my thing. I might not be a size zero, maybe I'm not a zero in anything. This size zero bitch was a total zero. And there are situations when beauty dissolves into nothingness and it's what you can do that matters. I wasn't struck by lightening, perhaps because it's a very forgiving God up there who knows that I have been patiently waiting for the truth to come out. It turned out to be one of my bestest evenings, for entertainment, for watching the pouting bitch wither and die. And I waited until I got out of God's house and punched the air in triumph. I told you so brother darling. Because there's place for only one bitch, and that's the wannabe bitch killed off for good. Feels great!