In the Post

I seem to have a postman with a very dry wicked sense of humour. I am a big fan of ordering 'thing' over the web, so of course it takes a postman/woman to deliver the 'things' to my door. And here is one example of women being better on the beat than men. My postwoman is a darling, she knows that I first have to check my hair in the mirror because you can never be sure who's calling. It could be a Mr. Big and I would never lose out on an opportunity like that. But she's also welcome, because she waits for me to open the door and give me my new thingies. I love opening new thingies and although I've never told her so, she know, she just knows because sometimes there is something called unspoken understandable sisterhood. So she's more than fine. The trouble is when it's the other postman on the beat. He rings my doorbell then probably makes a quick dash down the road, also managing to shove a piece of paper telling me to collect my thingies... the next day. Oh no, the next day is too far off and I don't know how to wait. It's as if my thingies have been so close yet so far. And he does it again and again. Couldn't he at least wait for 30 seconds? It seems not. And then I grab the damn little paper and call the number printed on it. And I'm angry so I voice my anger and say what the hell, do you have postmen on sprint beats or what? To which I always get the same answer... do you want to file a formal complaint madame? And that suddenly makes me stammer. Of all things, she calls me a madame! Madame! That's ancient enough to catch any girl on the wrong foot. Secondly, do I want to contribute to a man losing his job? No, because then I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Perhaps the postman has a wife and kids and it's his only income, and he's so bored that playing games with me and my letter box is his only thing which he does for fun. So I say no, I don't want to complain and listen to the lady over the phone raising her eyebrow at this lioness suddenly transformed into a lamb. Oh well, I'll just have to wait. If all this waiting will lure a Mr. Big to my door one day, then it will all have been worth it. Because God works in mysterious ways.