Unplanned

All people can be put into two categories. It might not be true, but as long as it makes sense according to me, then it’s true. No I don’t think beyond my box, it’s too big. There are the planners and the unplanners. I belong to the latter group. I never plan anything, nothing, not even my forthcoming wedding. I cannot even choose a date, I keep putting it off and off and off, and it’ll happen on its own because Mister will take care of it. He’s a planner. He’s a good care taker. That’s why it works. I don’t even plan where to go, most times I’ve started my car engine and I still don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t plan what to eat because quite simply I don’t cook. I don’t plan what time to get up, I do set alarms, but I know I’ll just be ignoring them the minute they start. And I suppose at my age I should start planning things, seeing that the biological clock is not exactly on my side, but then, what clock? I’ll never make a clock my master. Chocolate perhaps, but not some tick tocking boring old thing. But it’s not all my fault. I started life like that…as unplanned. Nobody was planning me. They were planning the other. I know that for a fact because it’s been told to me a million times. One cheeky doctor had the audacity to say that I was a freak of nature, to which I answered; well it’s a beautiful freak innit? So many things do not make sense about what happened for me to come about. Firstly, nobody was expecting me. I was born first but conceived last. And I was conceived last but born first. It says on my ID card too. I am younger than the All Mighty Adonis prancing about the beaches right now. Good, it means he will age faster. So unplanned me just had to fight harder. My dad, God bless him, always said I was the best surprise in his life. Mum said nothing. But at 35 it doesn’t take a genius to realise how the female and male bodies work when copulating and conceiving. I was the freaky second egg which decided to make a statement and freakishly appear during one menstrual cycle. That’s what made me. Quite cheeky too, kind of gotcha! So perhaps when born unplanned you just get to live unplanned. It’s a nice life, Bohemian, gypsy type of life, you never know what you’re going to get because you never know when and where you are going to start. It’s a laid-back lifestyle, very laid back because you tend to do things at your own pace. You also tend to accumulate a lot of clutter. But then it’s not my fault. I was never planned. So I’ve done the best I could have done. Because just as the thickest of thorns grow unplanned, so do the scented roses.