Toothache

I would have probably fared quite well in life had I to have settled down with a dentist. Of course that would have made me a kill-joy of a dentist's wife because after the dentist hubby would have closed shop, he'd have me left as a constant patient. I'm not rich by any means and I know why. I've given most of my money away to dentists, dentistry, dental surgery. Money really doesn't matter much, what matters a lot is dental pain. And of course, the best time for something of the sort to start is round about midnight just when I am thinking of taking my royal self to bed. And oh God, it's royal pain this time. Why the hell couldn't I have suffered from hairy stuff? Electrolysis is so much milder in comparison. But no, I'm as unhairy as a baby and I suffer from teething problems like a baby too. For as long as i can remember, I have suffered from dental pain in some form or other. For the parts I cannot remember, my mother has filled me in with the details... she spent quite some sleepless nights trying to comfort this baby girl who would scream in pain. (of course the baby boy would sleep blissfully, he just had to be the extreme opposite of the girl). And if it was anything like what I am feeling now, I do not blame that little girl. I don't know much about babies, but I feel so sorry for their teething troubles. They cannot swear, drink whiskey, smoke, swear some more, take pain killers with some more whiskey and finally knock themselves out. What they can is cry, I pity them. Probably that is one of the reasons that makes me childless, because my body knows just how bad dental pain can be and is reluctant to pass on the gene. I also remember, at four years old being so taken over by dental pain that I tiptoed downstairs in the dark (and that is a big achievement for a four year old), got a chair, stood on the chair and drank the whole bottle of Calpol which was on top of the fridge. That was what my mum gave me for the pain (I hear Calpol is still popular), so I figured since the pain was extreme I could drink the whole bottle. It tasted nice too and for a moment it also pacified my sweet tooth and for some four hours knocked me completely out. You see, poor little girl had a bad night and was making up for it. I never told my mum the truth, though I guess she guessed the truth. Calpol bottled do not evaporate overnight especially when they're tightly closed. I was already at the dentist at 4 years old, and that's another achievement because I never cried. Yes I was already having teeth filled, temporarily of course. And you'd think it was bad hygiene or something. It was far from that. Teeth-brushing was something routine, twice a day. And yet I have worked my butt off just to make dentists happy. Of course I tried medical insurance, but aha the medical insurance people (or perhaps dentists) are not stupid, and it's not offered anywhere. I have had just about everything excluding dentures. Teeth filling, root canals, braces, braces again, extractions of good teeth because my jaw didn't have place for them, extractions of teeth looking perfect on the outside but so bad on the inside (thanks to viola playing), TMJ, silicone bite pads, fixed porcelain teeth, sutures, I think that's about all there is on a dentist's price list. Where it comes from... well I have a hunch it has a lot to do about living in the South where the water isn't as good as other places? One musician friend of mine once made me so sad, at 20 she had never been to a dentist, never experienced pain, but thought she should go have a checkup. The result of the checkup.. no problems. I hit the roof. I was happy for her, but why couldn't it have been that way for me? Probably we all have our Achilles' heel, it's just that mine is way up above high in my mouth. And it's nothing sexy. As a dentist once told me, innocently at first, well don't put big things in your mouth. As soon as he uttered the last words he realised what he had just said, turned scarlet and apologised. I never could figure out why he apologised, but of course I could never have disagreed because my mouth was wide open at the time anyway.... facing that bright light which dentists have.