Shoulder massage?

Hey hey hey it's my second day of trying to be positive. So here we go. Nothing's changed much, yet I keep thinking up, up, up. And somehow I'm not in despair. So far so good. But I realise that I have fallen back on my anthropology research. I need to be a pain in someone's ass, I need a persjana, which would be the wooden apertures found fixed on windows in Maltese houses. I don't have one in my house, although I still go and have a look through my peeping hole sometimes. Peeping hole... oh dear that sounds pervert. Not just a peeping Tom, but one with a hole? Why do the things I have seem to be perverted, and if they aren't they become perverted on their own. Maybe this house has a perverse vibe, there it goes again, the vibe. Vibes in so many sizes, textures, colours, it's endless. It's all welcome, just don't push the glass one in my face. I am not making the trip to Mater Dei to have any glass removed and having to explain how it got where in the process. Which gets me to where I want to be. I passed by a pharmacy, nothing special, picking up some paracetamol, nothing sexy there either. And lo and behold there was this dangerous looking vibe, in the shop window placed carefully sideways so as to leave nothing to the imagination. I so wished I was four for a minute, with twin brother on tow. He'd have asked what that was in front of a shopful of people, in a high pitched voice and shamed my mother. He's always been very good at that, and making me laugh in the process. Back to the vibe. Another funny thing, it's being marketed as something which makes your aches and pains go away, like a massage tool. Ok it's a tool, that's obvious, and perhaps it really wipes out the aches and pains, but it's no shoulder relaxing machine. Or a DIY back massage. The shape says it all. And yet that's what it said on the window. And it was placed strategically to be noticed. Purposely. Oh and it comes with rechargeable batteries, and it's waterproof, just in case it falls in the bath when you're massaging your poor shoulder blades. Now that feels sooooo good.