Ir-Razzett l-Antik

It's very early morning on a Sunday. I am past my bedtime. But it doesn't matter that I'm not at all sleepy because I will not have to drag myself to school when I finally get to bed, sleep, and wake up. This weather is killing me, my long hair doesn't help me either. But there goes vanity. I'll never give it a snip, not for a million Euro. Then again perhaps I would give it just a snip for a million Euro, but since that is not happening, then I'm safe. But apart from the heat today wasn't bad at all, minus the one full hour wasted in finding myself an elegant pair of pants to wear to today week's wedding. Weddings... in this heat. Now that would be a plausible excuse for divorce. Because people marrying in this heat are not in a right state of mind, and, I have big doubts whether the newly married are hopping in bed... not even with two air conditions on. This heat brings out the worst in me. The bad bad bad worst. But today was something else. So I decided to check out this restaurant promising good Maltese food. To say the truth, I was sceptical and I thought that I was in for a disappointment. Again, not today. I was instantly surprised, beautiful place, beautiful surroundings, really nice friendly staff, and omg the food! The food above all, was heavenly. It's been some time since I have been served with such smiles, since I have been treated as a human being, and as an elite human being at that. What is it with my accessories, why is it that the minute I decide to dress up I am treated like the queen? I don't know, but I'm not arguing. And all this was happening at a place called ir-Razzett l-Antik, which to me didn't seem very promising. It wasn't just a Razzett, it was also old, would it live up to my expectations? Sure enough it didn't. It surpassed all my expectations. Lovely place to be welcomed like that, friendly but polite, and by the end of it we had got rid of the Dr. and Miss (I'm just a Miss!) titles and staff were seated at our table like friends. I loved that. I also loved the spotless bathrooms, the quick elevator which sends you straight into a smoking terrace (meaning smoking is allowed on the terrace), I loved the way the tables were dressed, comfortable chairs, the whole lot. Again, the food is cooked to perfection. I don't think Cetta round the corner could make brungiel mimli like that, or haruf like that. But then it depends what you mean by Maltese cuisine. Ravjul overcooked smeared with tomato paste? That may be Cetta's idea, but here I was treated to cuisine so perfect that it was reminiscent of the Kavallieri who would forget the chastity vow. Perfect, I would award them 5 Michelin stars, I award them that anyway in my mind. And... of course we had entertainment of the typical Maltese sort... myself staring at a strange couple. He must have been 70 (seriously), she was no older than 25! Yeah yeah I love these couples, I was one of such couples not just once in my life. But I would have never ever dated this man. He ate fenek with gusto, meaning he had his ten fingers and two palms in the food. He kept pouring wine while smearing the bottle with bits of fenek. His glass, once transparent became opaque. And he finished eating, and I kept waiting for him to go and wash his dirty smelly hands... he never did. But he did take his mate's hand in his! Yuk! His mate, a petite (they all are) Philippine who spelt red young lolita. Now I know love makes you blind, but does it also meddle with your olfactory system as well as the sense of touch? Couldn't she realise she was holding a hand smelling like a forgotten rabbit hutch? Rabbits are rodents, for God's sake. And of course my dirty mind kept wandering. It was clear they were heading to an other course after dinner; intercourse. I really hope he washed his hands. Having smelly rodent-meaty covered hands all over my body isn't my idea of fun. But perhaps that's what it means when they say they fuck like rabbits? I'm not too keen on finding out there. But I keep thinking of the poor Filipino and the 75 year old reeking of rabbit. No wonder I can get no sleep. Back to my fine dining experience. To be recommenced, and highly so. I just got an entertainment bonus, that's all. But then I seem to stumble on things like these and I swear I don't plan on it. Five stars go to ir-Razzett l-Antik!