Monthly sufferings

Mother's Day again. And life has decided to remind me that I'm no mum. Because apart from the non Coitus Interruptus sex, there is another thing which is synonymous with the start of motherhood; a missing menstruation. So just in case I was about to get all mushy about feeling motherly to my cats, life decided to give me a stark reminder by just giving me the dreaded flow. Life's a bitch innit? But then why all this obsession about motherhood when I do not care for my own kids. I like little people, I love them to bits too sometimes, but that is when they have their own mum. Not mine. I could never afford to have my own little people, because as selfish as it may sound, I have my lifestyle and I am not about to let anybody mess that up. It's enough having to swear at the once a month flow which interrupts everything. It makes my skin dull, gives me a headache, cramps, and a very bad mood. And I am in exactly that same mood. A foul mood where I could gladly take a shotgun, aim it at Mickey Mouse and fire it if only to spoil other people's fun. On days like this I am best left alone. Because I can be a bitch, a pain in the ass, a pain in the neck... a pain everywhere. I just see everything upside down, in such a manner that would make old Walt proud. I seriously contemplate tying or cutting off whatever's in there, whatever is causing all of this. And I secretly contemplate a sex change op, when I am just trying to make other people understand the dull ache that's in me that's all. But my explaining skills start and end in the classroom, I do not take them away with me. Rather I sit and seethe and dream vengeance on Eve. She just had to want the flipping apple didn't she? Selfish bitch. Some time ago I heard the silliest explanation my pretty ears had ever had. It wasn't really the apple after all. Eve could have taken mango, peaches, melons, coconuts... anything. It was a question of sex. No, not apple sex. But anal sex. The explanation went on the lines of.... Adam and Eve wanted to have anal sex and since God didn't allow that then he flew off the handle and decided to teach Eve a lesson. What a non plausible reason. If that were true, then why didn't Adam suffer some form of STD as a punishment too? Takes 2 to tango, and at least 2 for anal sex, both parties would be involved, hence punishable. And wherever did God cite wrath for anal sex? Does God really care if it's up the arse or not? Who would that be hurting? Nobody except for the female (or male) wincer, the one who is on the receiving end. Nobody else. And although xxx rated movies give out the message the women are really keen on this kind of sex, think again. It's a total myth. No girl wants to feel her insides ruptured. That's no nice sex. What is all this, did it really boil down to Adam popping Eve's anal cherry? I have my doubts. Because it that were true, then Eve could get away with it and sue for anal rape since the one doing the action would have been Adam. And yet it's Eve and us who have got punished for it. And although sometimes I like to think that God is female, well, would a female God inflict such pain for endless years to come, on other females? The answer is no at first glance, but then if God were female, well, what about a female bitchy Goddess to twist the tale? Possibilities are endless. But I could spend years speculating, and the answer is still the same. Suffer all ye females!