Me, the Goddess

Malta today woke up basking in the glory of another girl's, Chiara's. Good girl, of course she made it through. She's one of my bestest friends... and it was a ... you show 'em girl! Not show the world, but show the rest of the country. Because this country has a problem. I used to think it was my problem, now I'm not so sure. Do you remember how much the country ranted and raved about Chiara's weight? Why was it then that she topped Eurovision the way she did? Because there is only one word to describe other Maltese people who snigger at us big girls. They are all morons. This morning, as I was making my way up to school, two mums were talking. One was a sweetheart, so enthusiastic about Chiara's winning.... What a performance she gave... who? Chiara? (eh mela who your flipping asshole farting in the bath?) Hmmmm insomma, I think she needs to chain herself to a treadmill! I was already 5 minutes late. Yet no I couldn't let this go, no way. So I walked down again and said... do you think you would be able to go out there in front of 20000 people? I don't think so. So maybe that's all you know how to do, run on a treadmill. And I walked back up. One of these days I will be writing from Corradino Correctional Facility. I have become so very bold. And one of the reasons I have become so bold is Chiara herself. So we cried when people called us cows, and a lot of animals which George Orwell never even thought of. We cried in private, in public, everywhere. Fools we were. I don't cry anymore. Nobody makes me cry because I makes sure they are sorry they were ever born. If this country has a problem with large hips, they perhaps might want to take an intelligent look into Malta's stoneage Fertility Goddess, who certainly was no size 8. I guess I should be proud. Because all history books depicting this Goddess seem to have had me as their model. So many tourists queueing to see this Goddess which looks exactly like me. (No it's not a question of me resembling the Goddess, it's her who looks like me). It's also in little people's Social Study books. So they are studying about me. And tourists are queueing to see me. We say that God made mankind in his image. And people in stoneage made Goddesses in my very own image. If that doesn't make a woman proud nothing will. I am not just a celebrity, I'm a walking Goddess. I'm not just royalty, I am a Goddess. And if this country still has a problem with it, it should go see a shrink. Me... the Goddess is off to get her Godly nails done.