How sexual are you?

I have been doing brilliantly at wasting time; taking so many FaceBook quizzes. And the results are sometimes so very uncannily correct. But one in particular has had me and my friends in shots of laughter. It's called, "How sexual are you?". And the result is something I never expected; "You have a high sex drive!". Yeah, right. It would have made so much sense were I still in my twenties. But I'm not. What's worse is that this has come just days after my having to buy a new mattress, as a kind colleague pointed out. It's a good thing my mum is anti-social when it comes to computers, and that my dad is computer illiterate. I could care less for my twin, his sex drive is as high as Mount Everest. It's a well known fact. But while I do think of sex as in population sex, I do not consider myself as having a high sex drive. I guess I should at 35, but I just am not. I like to think of the theory of sublimation. Sometimes, well, a lot of times, people with a high sex drive are artistic and tend to branch out their drive into the artistic drive. And thank God for that. It saves the world of a lot of paedophiles and rapists. It truly does. At least that is what the theory says. And it makes sense. And I realise how much I've changed. And I don't know if it's for the better or not. I definitely do not have a high sex drive. I blame it on a little yellow pill which I take for a literal hell of a lot of reasons. One missed pill, and it would turn hellish for me. Of course I do not expect to have the same kind of sex drive as when I started out at 15. Then, the world was so different. We had no cell phones, no Internet, so... I guess we made out instead, or as the in-word was back then, we bonked ourselves silly, ever so fearful that a kiss would make us pregnant. That was what the nuns said. We still went ahead and kissed, and found out it didn't make us pregnant. Things change, life changes and we get older. And suddenly my idea of a good evening is not bonking (oh that word again) in the back seat of someone's car. Not that I've ever done that anyway. At 15, I already knew I was kind of royalty, so bonking al fresco was never on. I always wanted the luxury to go with the sex. The satin sheets (which can break someone's neck), the room service... the works. And getting turned on nowadays does not necessarily mean sex. I can get turned on by Chanel, it never fails. I get turned on by a whole lot of other things, which are far from sexual. If this is right or not for a 35 year old I have no clue. But I als have pets now, and being watched has never been my idea of a good bonk, even if it's the cats watching . Weekend breaks... I hate them. They simply mean that you should actually bonk. For me they mean a really boring time. But back to FaceBook and it's how sexual are you? Facebook thinks I'm extremely sexual. The royal I thinks it's a very wrong diagnosis. I guess I need to book the sex therapy couch... again!