Blog therapy

If it weren't for this blog I'd be dreadfully poor, homeless and I wouldn't have anything to call my own. It would all go to couch therapy. But I'm a clever (little?) girl, just as my dad used to say, so I've found the anti venom to mum-venom. And it doesn't cost me €100 per hour, it costs me a cigarette, a diet coke, and an Internet connection. A blog is also good for anger management, on the days when you really want to squeeze someone's neck and get turned on by the pleasure of seeing him struggle to live. Blogging is so much safer. It doesn't make you less of a criminal, because the thoughts are there anyway, but nobody gets arrested for thinking. I'm still thinking about the queer title just imposed on me. And although I know that I'm a messed-up kid in many ways, I still don't think it's fair. When I was 7 and going to Catholic lessons, I used to hear all about sinning, and that a sin qualifies as a sin owing to the intention. That meant that Jan Val Jean never deserved his prison sentence for stealing a loaf to feed his family who would otherwise have gone hungry. He stole for a valid reason and for not having any other opportunity. It, in turn, also means that I do nothing wrong by loving cats and dogs. According to the Bible expert in my immediate community; my mother (shit it's always her getting under my skin), I have sinned because I haven't got married and gone forth and multiplied. Instead I have turned to animals (no hint at bestiality whatsoever please). And whenever she hints at that, it hurts. I guess plenty of us would have liked to gone forth and multiplied, but it doesn't happen for some. And instead of getting bitter, we go by the law of sublimation and turn our attention to something else. My guess is that my mother did nothing special in the sack. It just turned out special by getting a two for the price of one bonanza. Trust her to hit gold and get me into the world. If only I could draw, I'd draw special diagrams just for her to see to tell her what I've been doing in the sack. She'd be shell-shocked, and maybe she would just be playing the part of repression and suppression. Anyway here's three cheers to this blog. I've got it off my chest for next to nothing. And no sinning.